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“Levi, look at me,” I call out, pulling his attention off my scratches and bruises and into my loving gaze. “If my body looks like it’s been to war, then I’ll wear my battle scars with pride.”
His eyes turn the softest shade of green, succeeding in melting my glacier heart. With his gaze still locked on mine, he presses his hand on my belly under the water.
“I wonder if you’re with child,” he rasps softly. “The gods know it hasn’t been from a lack of trying.”
My shoulders slump at his words.
Unable to lie to him, I pull his hand from my belly and lift his open palm to my lips to give it a kiss.
“Anya gives me one of her special remedy teas every morning, Levi. We won’t be expecting a child anytime soon.”
“Oh,” he mutters, disappointed, lowering his eyes from mine.
Damn the gods.
“Levi,” I call out and patiently wait for him to look at me again. “As much as the thought of having your baby brings me joy, having a bastard does not.” His brows pinch together at my words. “Because that’s what would happen if I were to conceive now. All of Aikyam would know that the babe was born out of wedlock. I’ve seen firsthand what a terrible burden that is on a child. I already have a brother who suffers the mark of being a bastard son of a king, I will not let my firstborn have the same fate.”
“Of course,” Levi is quick to say, logic and sense finally clearing his romantic notions. “You’re right. Of course, you’re right. I guess I just let my own dreams of a life with you get the best of me. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. We have time,” he says before planting one of his trademark chaste kisses to my lips.
Time.
Time is what we don’t have.
In less than a week, I must travel north and leave my king behind for another.
I never thought it would be harder to leave the east than it was leaving the north. Here I have found more happiness in a month than in my entire life.
And it’s all because of him.
As much as I tried to keep my frozen heart away from his grasp, Levi chipped at it with his steel endurance, never quitting until it was fully his. Now, having fallen in love with such a man, the idea of seeking another and proposing marriage feels blasphemous.
Levi is my king.
My love.
My very heart.
No one will ever be able to measure up to the honorable man before me.
No one.
Yet, I still made a promise. One that I cannot break, as my promise is my word, and my word is law. How I wish it wasn’t so. How I wish we could stay here in Arkøya for the rest of my years.
But my home needs its queen, as does the kingdom.
I knew right from the start of this whole affair that sacrifices needed to be made. I still need to travel south and be sure that its king won’t misplace his food supplies to the north again. I then need to march west and meet the rebel king who refuses to acknowledge my very existence, save for announcing that all our merchant deals are now null and void. As much as I would like nothing more than to stay in my lover’s arms, I am not afforded such a luxury.
I’m queen.
And queens must rule over their reign.
The only thing a queen must abide by is her duty—not her heart.
“I know that look,” Levi says, pulling my attention back on his majestic face.
“And which look is that, my king?” I tease playfully, hoping I haven’t given him access to my thoughts as well as my heart.
But when his facial expression looks as torn as I feel, I realize Levi is more in tune with my mind than I gave him credit for.
