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“What? Cleo having sex with five people? That was nothing. I once saw her with double that amount.” He laughs like this is an everyday experience for him.
“And you’re okay with that?” I question, baffled at his nonchalance.
“Why wouldn’t I be?” he retorts puzzled.
“Well… I thought you and her… had an understanding.”
Teo halts to a dead stop and turns to me.
“And what type of understanding were you under the assumption we had?”
Oh, the gods!
Is he really going to make me say it?
“Don’t be shy with your words when we just watched a bunch of strangers fuck our best friends,” he accuses mockingly. “Because that is the only understanding Cleo and I have. We are friends. She is the only true friend I have.”
I bite down hard on my inner cheek with how furious he’s staring at me right now.
“Don’t. Don’t do that,” he orders, grabbing my chin. “There is no room for shame here.”
I relax my jaw and he immediately pulls his hand away from me
“I see you still don’t understand us.” He shakes his head disappointingly. “Shame is not a word we use in Nas Laed. It’s too fucking constricting. Shame is a made-up word created by men who fear women’s true power,” he begins to explain with the same hard edge to his voice. “And Cleo is a perfect example of a free southern woman who knows her power. Which means she owns her sexuality and uses it any way she sees fit. She doesn’t need a man to tell her what feels good or what is appropriate for her to enjoy. She takes her pleasure whenever, and however she wants. So even if Cleo and I had some form of arrangement, as you so put it, Cleo would still be Cleo. A free woman to make her own choices and decisions when it comes to her body, or her life in general. I would have no say on the matter as a lover or as a friend. We don’t judge the people we love here. Nor do we warden them.” He then takes a beat to catch his breath while still staring me down. “You still don’t know what it means to be genuinely free, do you?” he questions, irked, even after delivering such a passionate rant.
“I thought I did. Now, I’m not so sure,” I answer truthfully.
Maybe I’ve always been trapped in an ice-sculpted cage of my own making, that freedom like the one he just described so ardently, feels like an impossibility to me.
Too out of my reach to grasp.
“Well, if you ever really want to find out, come find me. Until then, keep your small-minded judgments and assumptions to yourself. They are of no use here.”
And just like that, he turns his back to me and walks away.
Chapter 37
Teodoro
There is a soft knock on my door, but I don’t lift my head to see who it is.
Such manners can only come from one person.
“I’m busy,” I announce as I try to concentrate on the numbers of this month’s harvest.
“You didn’t come to break your fast with us this morning so I thought you might be hungry and brought you some fruit,” Katrina says, invading my safe space with her presence.
“Like I said, I’m busy. Food can wait,” I retort, head still bowed down over my ledgers.
“Hmm, I see,” she says, placing the bowl of food at the corner of my desk.
But instead of leaving, she just stands there watching over me. The weight of her stare makes it impossible to concentrate.
I push the scrolls of endless numbers away and lean back in my chair.
“It seems the north has trouble in understanding simple terms like I’m busy too. Please say what’s on your mind so that I can get back to work.”
“You’re still cross with me,” she mutters, while nervously shifting her weight from one foot to another.
