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We had the foresight to stock up on food, none of which needs cooking. I also picked up some flashlights, knowing we would have to do without electricity. It’s a short hike up to the house. Nothing has changed. The front door is unlocked, as I knew it would be.
Inside is a bit dusty, but it’s clear someone has been in here recently. Probably Lucia with another woman. It’s her spot, after all. There is only one bedroom, something I didn’t think about when I made the plan to stay here.
“I’ll take the couch, if you can call it that.” Chris has already thrown his bag down and is settled on the old, beat-up two-seater. I wince, knowing how many times I made Lucia come on that thing.
“You good to share?” I ask Daisy. It shouldn’t be awkward. After all, we had plenty of sleepovers back then, but now? Well, I can’t speak for her but I’m feeling awkward as fuck. Daisy isn’t my friend from ten years ago, she’s the woman I’ve been lusting over for far too long and she’s into women. My body is screaming at me to do something about how I’m feeling.
She interrupts my roaming thoughts. “No problem. Do you still starfish?”
“Yup, I’m probably worse now. I don’t usually share a bed.”
“You’re telling me you don’t even allow your conquests to stay the night?” I know she’s mocking me, but it kind of stings. I hate that she thinks I’m some sort of Lothario. It’s not by choice. I can’t have normal relationships. If things were different, I’m sure I would have tried dating a couple of the women I met along the way. I shrug my shoulders, hoping to look unbothered by her remark. I see a flash of something in her eyes. I think she knows she hurt me a little with that comment.
“I’ll put our bags away.” I could do with a few minutes on my own. Just as I put the bags by the old bed, I feel Daisy’s hand on my shoulder.
“I’m sorry, Cal, I was only joking.”
“I know.”
“I can’t imagine what your life has been like these past years. I shouldn’t mock or judge you for seeking out comfort.”
“It’s okay, I know what it looks like. You picked up a bloody pattern of women, for Christ’s sake. It doesn’t make me feel good knowing that you see me like that.”
“Why does it matter how I see you?” She has stepped closer to me. Her eyes are boring into me. This is my chance. I should tell her that she is and has been the only woman for me. I should tell her that all the women I slept with never stood a chance, no matter what the circumstances, because none of them ever came close to her. I open my mouth to tell her.
“Cal, get out here, please.” Chris’ voice is saturated with anxiety. Shit, what’s happened? I race past Daisy and into the living room. Oh, for the love of… Lucia is here, and she looks pissed.
“Lucia, hi.” What follows is a torrent of Spanish swear words that would make even the most seasoned curser blush. I hear Daisy step behind me. Could this get any worse?
In broken English, Lucia starts another rant. “Don’t hi. You give me all the orgasms, make me scream and then boom, Monica is gone.” Wow, it definitely just got worse. I did give herall the orgasmsand then I did disappear. How the hell am I going to get out of this? “I cry for a week, Monica.” Oh, for fuck’s sake. Okay, I’m an arsehole. There I said it.
“Lucia, I am so sorry. It wasn’t you. I enjoyed giving you the orgasms. I had to leave though. It was an emergency.” That seems to calm her down a little. “I came back to apologise.” Not strictly true, although there was always the possibility that I would see Lucia and I would have apologised.
“Okay, you give me the orgasms again?”
Dear lord.
Chapter 10
Daisy
Ifeel like I’m in a comedy sketch. Here we are in a rundown farmhouse in the Spanish mountains with no hot water, electricity, or heat. Basic food and only one bed. Add the very irate Spanish woman screaming at Callie and we’ve got TV gold.
I have no idea what she said when she first started shouting, but then when she slipped into broken English I fully understood that Callie “gave her all the orgasms.” Sorry Monica-not-Callie. That explains why Callie was acting weird earlier. I’m curious to see how Callie digs herself out of this very angry Spanish hole.
Placation, that’s how. A little I’m sorry, it was me, not you, and all is forgiven. I almost wet myself when Lucia—angry Spanish lady—asks if Callie/Monica will give her “the orgasms” again. I wasn’t sure it was possible for Callie to go as red as her hair, but here we are. Her face is on fire.
Chris is doing a very admirable job of keeping it together, although I can see his shoulders shaking with silent laughter. “Yeah,Monica, are you going to give her the orgasms again?” he splutters before losing it completely. Ah, Chris, you were doing so well.
“Lucia, I am very sorry how I treated you, but I can’t give you all the… I can’t be with you again. I… I took a vow of celibacy last year.” Is she for fucking real right now? A vow of celibacy. What woman in their right mind would believe that horseshit?
“You really took vows?” Lucia asks. Her rage has vanished from the face of the planet and I am actually stunned.
“I did. I needed to change my ways, Lucia. I’m just sorry that you got caught up in my selfish ways.” Callie is laying it on thick.
“You changed your hair,” Lucia states. Lucia is looking at Callie like she hung the fucking moon.
“I went back to my natural hair.” Callie has moved a little closer to Lucia. I have to give her credit. She is masterful at what she does. This is why Betty had such high hopes for her. Callie could slip into any character she needed to.
