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Vincent shook his head. “Don’t do that to yourself, babe. They’re okay. They’re not hurt.”
“They could have been. Lucas could have —” I stopped myself before my voice broke. He wrapped his arms around me, pulling me close. I curled up against his chest, clinging to him. Part of me was ashamed that I needed this, ashamed that the only thing that could comfort my fear and my fury was his gentle embrace.
“Lucas is okay,” he said, and just hearing the words made my throat swell with emotion. Goddamn it, Ihatedto cry. I was determined not to, regardless of how overwhelmed I felt.
“They needed me,” I said. “They needed me, and I wasn’t there.”
“What didyouneed, Jason?” he said gently. “I want you to think about that for a minute.”
My brain was scattered, but I tried to think. After I’d counted to twenty, things started to slow down. After a count of forty, I said, “I needed this. I needed to be here with you.”
He kept rubbing my back, holding me. His shirt smelled sweet, and mildly like alcohol. He hadn’t even been able to change out of his work clothes before attending to me.
“Relax.” His arms tightened slightly when I tried to sit up, and I collapsed limply against him again. “Stay right there. You’re not inconveniencing me, alright? Holding you is exactly what I was looking forward to being able to do when I got home, babe. I want you to stay just like this until you feel better, okay?”
I released a shuddering sigh and closed my eyes. The slow movement of his hand on my back was lulling me into a trance-like state, almost too exhausted to sleep.
“You didn’t let anybody down,” he eventually said, when I sighed again and practically melted into him. I swore he could read my thoughts; my fears were far too obvious to him. “There was nothing you could have done if you had been there. It only would have meant that you would be in danger too, and I can’t have that.”
He got up suddenly, keeping his arms around me as we shuffled together into the guest bedroom. He gave me a little push towards the bed and said, “Undress. Then get comfortable in bed.” He kissed me on the forehead before he retreated to the bathroom, loosening his bowtie. I flung off my clothes and got under the covers, shivering at the pleasantly cool sheets. My worry had faded, but an uncomfortable feeling of guilt remained. I wasn’t entirely sure what to pin it to, except for the very fact that I needed this.
Goddamn it, why couldn’t I suck it up?
Vincent returned, to the sight of me lying under the covers with my face squashed into the pillow. The mattress dipped with his weight as he crawled over to me and slid under the covers. He’d stripped down, and he smelled like his face wash and toothpaste.
“Hey, look at me,” he said. I uncovered one eye from the pillow to look at him, and he chuckled. “Don’t hide from me. Do you want to smoke before we settle in?”
“Already did.” I mumbled my words into the pillow. He gave me a little push, and I rolled over so he could be the big spoon. His naked body curled into mine, enveloping me. I felt instantly warmer, and my muscles sagged. I swear I sunk another inch into the mattress as the tension went out of me.
“How was work?” I said, stifling a yawn as he nuzzled the back of my neck. His cock was hardening, and it nudged against my ass as he snuggled closer.
“It was good, babe. Busy night, it went by fast. I couldn’t wait to get back to you.”
Smiling sleepily, I arched my back a little, pressing my ass into him. He made a soft sound, a little hum of appreciation.
“Let me take care of you,” he said, his voice a husky whisper in my ear. Heat flooded my veins, and I lay still in quiet anticipation as he reached for the bedside table. He grabbed the lube we’d brought, and squeezed some into his hand. He reached his arm around me again, snuggling close, and wrapped his fingers around my cock.
He stroked me slowly, his fingerssqueezingas he slid over my head. My breath caught, releasing sharply when he did it again. He was moving at a leisurely pace, and kissing the back of my neck. His cock was wedged up against me, hot and hard between my legs.
“I love feeling you stiffen up in my hand,” he said. His breath was warm on my neck, his hair tickled my ear. He rolled his hips against me, grinding his cock on me with a soft sigh. “I want to fuck you to sleep, babe. You don’t need to move a muscle.”
Closing my eyes, I relaxed into the sensations. The way he was stroking me was luxuriously lazy, bringing soft noises out of me. I pressed into him again, jerking my hips demandingly. He chuckled, the sound low and wickedly condescending.
“Please...” My words were barely more than a whisper. “Want your cock...inside me please...”
He rolled his hips again, his length sliding between my legs, nudging against my balls. His hand left me for a moment, and I heard a click as he opened the bottle of lube again.
“You want me inside you?” he said, crooning in my ear. “You’re going to have to be patient.”
His hand was warm but the lube was cold as he swiped his fingers over my hole, massaging slowly to relax my muscles. I missed the tug and squeeze of his hand, but he’d told me not to move. I lay there limply, flesh and bones he could manipulate as he pleased.
A finger pressed inside, moving at the same languidly slow pace he’d used while stroking me.
“Be patient,” he said again, when I moved my hips as if to grind against him. “I’m going to take my time with you, so just relax or I’ll have to tie you up.”
Not that I disliked being tied up; but I didn’t want him to stop touching me, so I forced myself to lie still again. But it was impossible not to twitch and tremble as he fingered me. He added more lube, and a second finger, so warm and slick inside me.
“Please, Vince...” I was getting desperate. He was toying with me, and every touch was soothing, it practically made me melt. But my need was growing. My cock was so hard and I reached down, but he made a soft sound of reproach.
