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PROLOGUE
February 7th
Dear Diary,
I wish I'd listened to them.
I wish Isaiah had made me listen the night of my engagement. Or the night Zach and Jer brought me back to their hotel…but no, I thought he’d change.
I was too scared to leave then. Now I’m more scared of what he’ll do to me if I stay.
Now here I am, twenty-five years old, sitting on the bed in a home that’s only mine because someone else's grandmother died. A woman who clearly loved me more than my own blood ever did.
I had to leave behind my entire life, because the family I thought I wanted, the one I thought cared for me, was just using me. I was nothing to them.
Maybe I should have seen this coming. It’s not as if the signs weren’t there. They were. Bright red flags that kept screaming run.
The abuse was…awful, but knowing I made everything harder for myself, somehow makes me feel worse.
After all these years, I finally found the courage to leave.
Now, I’m alone, in an empty house, and I’m the happiest I’ve been in the last six years.
-Sapphire
CHAPTERONE
Sapphire
Six years ago, age nineteen
I’m barely able to contain my nervous energy as I dig my nails into my thigh to keep my knee from bouncing. My fiancé smiles at his mother, as she glares at me from across the table, before he turns his attention to me.
Thad leans over in his chair, his warm, wet breath fans across my cheek as he whispers in my ear, making me stiffen. He smells like too much whiskey and not enough deodorant.
“Sit up straight, Sapphire, and fix your dress.” Thad reaches over, pinching my side painfully in warning. “If your smile falls one more time, my mother might think you’re less than excited to be my future bride. What would your father say?” His cold tone sends a shiver down my spine, and I plaster the fake smile I always wear on my lips.
“Of course, my love, I’m sorry,” I apologize, not feeling the words, even though they slip out like it’s second nature to say them.
“You’re so lucky I tolerate you, despite how bland you are. You barely even fill out this dress. I wasted my money on you,” Thad adds sharply, spitting the words like the weapons they are, making me swallow hard. Holding my smile, even as tears sting my eyes, is hard. I nod in acknowledgment. It’s easier to appease him than try to fight him. I learned that quickly. Did I ever bother fighting, though? I can’t remember. My stepfather beat that out of me long ago.
“I’ll do better,” I whisper, knowing that’s what he wants to hear, even if nothing I do will ever be enough.
“You fucking better, or your father will hear about your behavior.” His threat is clear, and even though my skin shivers with fear, I barely resist reminding him that Charles is my stepfather.
The rest of dinner passes in a blur of fake smiles and useless small talk. By the time the party moves to the backyard, Thad is wasted just like everyone else.
When I spot him in the corner, with his arm over one of the servers, I take that as my opportunity to escape. Even if it’s just for a moment. I can’t breathe when I’m surrounded by these people. Every last one of them is anxiously waiting to watch me fail.
None of them believes I’ll be a fit wife for their precious Thad. Why we’re having an engagement party now is beyond me. They don’t even want us to get married until Thad finishes business school. I’ll be twenty-five by then. This party could have waited.
But I see it for what it is. A show. A lie. A way for my stepfather and Thad to dig their claws in deeper and keep me in line. My desire to make my family proud is slowly being twisted into something else entirely.
Fear.
Fear of leaving. Fear of the unknown. Fear of being alone.
I make my way out of the side of the house, using the servants’ entrance to escape unseen. Well, unseen by the other partygoers. But most of the servants working here have known me for years, and I know I can trust them. None of them spares me a second glance.
