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The reason my parents split up in the first place was because Dad couldn’t stay sober long enough to raise Nix and me. So mom left. Never looked back. Dad paid child support but never tried to visit. He’d send gifts, and was as loving as you’d expect a phone call parent to be, but it led to a lot of resentment from me.
Nix never seemed to blame Dad for his own actions, and now I guess I see why. They’re a lot alike.
“I’m going down there to try and get him to his room,” Holden sighs, but I remain silent, sinking down into the bed. I pull the covers up to my neck and stare at the wall. I can’t help. I’ll just make everything worse if I try. The best thing I can do is stay out of sight.
I never should have come on this trip…
CHAPTER TWENTY THREE
“get you the moon” by Kina feat. Sn∅w
HOLDEN
It’s been weeks since the cruise. Rose refuses to do anything but go to class, drink, and hide. I’m starting to worry.
“We can’t just keep doing nothing,” I say, looking back up the stairs like Rose might magically appear.
“We’ve tried everything to break her out of her slump,” Ren sighs, looking just as frustrated as I feel. We’ve been going crazy.
We thought she’d be trying to get us naked the moment we got back from the trip. Ren told us what happened, what they were headed to her room to do. That they shared a heated kiss on the elevator.
But it’s like seeing Nix reset her or something. She’s spiraling.
“Not everything,” I say, pulling my phone out and calling the only person who might be able to help at this point. Rose can forgive me later. Once she’s better.
CHAPTER TWENTY FOUR
“Mourning” by Post Malone
ROSE
Everything is a blur. I go to school, come home and drink, then go to bed.
There’s nothing else. I skip all the parties and dodge all attempts to socialize.
I don’t feel like doing, well, anything.
I gave up on the idea of losing my virginity and decided it would be better to just quietly exist until the guilt of ruining my brother's life fades. Which will be never.
I’m lying in my bed at the frat house, listening to Taylor Swift, when there's a commotion in the hall.
“Which room is hers, Holden?! You called me, remember, jackass?” I bolt upright. That's a voice I’d recognize anywhere. My heart races as my anxiety spikes. It’s the first time I’ve felt anything but numb for weeks. “This one, then.” I hear him decide half a breath before my bedroom door flies open. I jump again, bringing my thumb to my lips to chew the skin.
“Nix…” I whisper as my twin brother barges into my room. His green eyes land on me, he takes a deep breath and lets it out heavily.
“Sissy.” Nix nods, and my heart shatters at the nickname I haven’t heard in years. My mouth falls open and my eyes go wide, my hand falling limply in my lap.
“Six-week bender, huh? You trying to steal all the attention, or what?” He smirks, and I just blink at him. When Holden tries to push his way in the door, Nix slams it in his face, locking it.
“Am I drunk?” I murmur. Nix hasn’t visited me voluntarily in…well, not since I nearly killed him.
“Probably. Sounds like you’ve spent six weeks wasting away. But guess what? The guys have their first game of the season tonight, and it’s a home game. You’ve got five hours to get your shit together because we’re going,” Nix announces and turns to leave. He pauses.
He stands there silently for so long, I start to worry. “Nix?”
“I was wasted. That night. That's why I…did what I did.” His voice cracks, and he clears his throat. “You know I’m not mad at you, right? That I don’t blame you? It’s time to stop hating yourself, sissy. There’s only room for one fuck up in this family, and I’ve claimed the title. Get your shit together.” Nix speaks so quietly at first that I hold my breath to hear his words.
“Nix,” I whisper again, and he sighs.
