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“So, let me get this straight,” I say, one hand on my hip, the other I use to gesture vaguely at the guys. “You’ll fuck me if I’m blindfolded?”
“And wearing soundproof earbuds,” Holden adds, and my eyes bug out for a second time.
“Why?!” I demand, and Ren sighs.
“So you don’t know which one of us took your virginity,” Nash answers for Holden.
“That makes no sense.” I throw both hands in the air. “I don’t get it.”
“You want one of us to be your first. We don’t want you getting attached. If you don’t know who’s fucking you, you can’t. It’s simple, so what part aren’t you getting?” Nash asks, like I’m the unreasonable one here.
“Excuse me for wanting to know which man is sticking their dick inside me!” I snap back, making Ren sigh heavily again. “What’s your problem?!” I finally snap at him, too, feeling flustered and completely out of my depth.
“You could go to the bar right now, find a perfectly nice stranger to fuck, and we wouldn’t even be having this conversation,” Ren grumbles, but it feels like a slap to the face.
“Why are you even here, then?! Jesus, Ren, if you find the thought of fucking me so repellent, then just leave!” I practically growl at him, charging him with my finger raised.
“Woah, wildcat, I never said that! I-I just…”
“Just what?! Wanted to make me feel like shit? Wanted me to back down because you’re uncomfortable or something? Nash laid out his hard limits, and I never pushed them! He said don’t touch me, so I didn’t. Even when I really wanted to. So if you had said to me, ‘Hey, Rose, I don’t want any part of this,’ I would have said, ‘No problem, I’ll go find someone else,’ then you could have said, ‘Okay, bye!’ If you didn’t want any part of this, why didn’t you speak up?!” I demand, absolutely fucking done being rejected by men who make me think they want me one second, only to change their minds the next.
“Candycane…”
“No, Ren, I’m fucking serious. There’s nothing wrong with saying no, and I’m so fucking sorry if I somehow made you feel like you had to say yes to any of this. If I did, if I forced you…” I swallow thickly because the thought makes me sick to my stomach as every moment I’ve spent near Ren flashes through my mind.
“No! Jesus, Candycane, no. I never said any of that. You didn’t force me into anything, fuck’s sake, calm down, woman!” Ren hollers, grabbing my wrists and pulling me into him tightly. “You’re not the only one we don’t want to catch feelings! One taste of the heaven between your thighs is enough to ruin a man. I’m sorry I was an asshole.”
“Radioactive,” Nash adds, and I snarl, spinning away from the almost sweet moment with Ren.
“Call my pussy radioactive one more fucking time, Nashville Meadows, and I swear to every god and goddess, I will take up religion and witchcraft just to curse you!” I vow, pointing a finger at him, making him smirk.
“Kryptonite?” Nash offers, and I make this growling grr sound.
“Well, with you, Kryptonite makes more sense since you refuse to touch it! Can’t very well corrupt you with my radioactive vagina if you never go near it!” I snark, done with his sass.
“You three done?” Holden eventually asks, and I turn to face him. He’s sitting on his all-blue bed. Blue pillows, blue blankets, blue sheets. Guess I know his favorite color never changed.
“Unlikely,” I sigh, deflating a bit. Nash and Ren have never been anything other than the men they are today. Stubborn pains in my ass. I have this moment of clarity as I think of Ren’s words.
I’m not the only one they’re worried about catching feelings? And what Holden said about wanting me for so long…
“When I was sixteen, you three started acting weird,” I say it randomly, looking between them. Nash, in all his shirtless sexiness, crosses his arms over his chest. Holden, with all his tattooed allure, shifts on the bed, and Ren looks like a puppy that just got caught being naughty. My eyes narrow. “I want the truth,” I whisper as suspicion fills my veins, kicking up my heart rate.
“Rose…” Holden tries, but I shake my head.
“We met as kids. All of us. I knew all of you before puberty. But you weren’t dicks until he…” I point at Holden, “became my stepbrother. And it only got worse!” I glare, watching each of them closely. One of them will break. But which one?
I look at Nash and all his smug bad boy sexiness. Then Ren, who looks like he’s just been accused of cheating on his tests. Then Holden. He won’t meet my eyes.
“Spit it out. Go on. Fess up,” I demand, taking several steps toward him until I’m standing so close that I feel his body heat. He's still sitting on his bed, so I lean forward, putting us eye to eye.
“Fuck,” Holden grumbles, making the other two men jump into action.
“Shut your hole, man!” Nash demands.
“Holden, don’t you dare!” Ren groans.
