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“My mother. You said you were about to–forget it.” He shakes his head, turning away from me. I reach out to grab his arm but stop myself.
“I wanted to tell her that you’re one of the hardest working men I’ve ever met. That you’re not just good on the ice, you’re mesmerizing. Polarizing. You’re a kind man, who would do anything for the people he loves. For the people who deserve his love.” I sit up, leaning over to try and see his face. He remains still but doesn’t shut down like he did earlier. “I wanted to tell her she doesn’t deserve to have you as a son. She doesn’t deserve an ounce of your love or loyalty. I wanted to tell her to eat monkey shit and fuck off.” I add the last bit hoping to get a reaction. I’m pleased when he smirks.
Slowly, like a startled baby deer, Nash turns to me. “Yeah?” he asks so softly that my heart aches for the little boy who must be trapped in his soul, just longing for love.
“Yes. Especially that last bit. I was about to hop up on that table and start making oo-ee-ahh noises,” I tease, winking and wiggling my nose at him.
He smiles. A blinding, heart-shattering smile that would light up the darkest room, and it steals my breath.
“Can I hold you?” he whispers. The vulnerability in his eyes makes me melt, and I nod silently, holding my arms open in invitation. The tension in his shoulders eases as he sinks into me, and I lie back on my pillow.
One hand cradles his neck as his head rests on my chest. The other brushes through his hair soothingly. I bite my lip, holding back my own emotions as I do the best I can to comfort the self-proclaimed fuckboy.
Nash isn’t a fuckboy. He just wants to be loved but doesn’t know how to accept love. His attraction to me makes more sense now. I’m off limits. I’m not allowed to want him, and he’s not allowed to want me.
Someone should tell him I’m already in too deep. Not me. Someone else.
I thought Nash would be the most likely to help me lose my virginity. I thought he was uncomfortable touching me, but I know the truth now.
Nash is uncomfortable accepting touch from someone close to him. Even if there was a wall between us before because of Holden, it’s gone now.
Maybe it’s been gone this whole time. Guilt crawls up my spine.
As I lie here with Nash in my arms, I’m glad I decided not to take things further with them.
I won’t let these men do something that might hurt them by sleeping with me. I can see now that it will mean too much to me, and I get the feeling it would mean something to them too.
I can fucking feel it in the way I’m clinging to Nash as he holds me like I’m already his.
Tomorrow, I’ll protect him from his own fucking family, and when we get back to the frat house, I’ll start looking for a new place to live. Nissa mentioned moving in with Rob. Maybe I can take over her lease. We need distance, and we can’t get that living under the same roof.
* * *
“Damn, you look stunning,” Nash murmurs, looking me up and down. I brought my own dress. The ones he picked out are all better suited for a night out, not an elegant wedding at a hotel that's over one hundred years old.
“Thanks,” I say, looking up and taking in the sight of Nash for the first time since I started getting ready. “Wow.” My eyes go wide, and I wipe at the corner of my mouth. “Am I drooling?” I tease, making him smirk.
“Like what you see?” He wiggles his brows, stuffing his hands in his front pockets. He hasn’t put his suit jacket on yet, but still. He’s…impressive. In a white button-down with a silvery tie and a gray vest that hugs him just right. His gray slacks fit him in all the best possible ways, and I shake my head as he adjusts his cufflinks.
“You are really doing the entire population of this city a favor by wearing that. I mean seriously. If you don’t have at least half the bridesmaids falling at your feet, then I'll be shocked,” I tease.
“Well, they can fall all they want, but I’ve got the hottest date on my arm tonight. Every woman in that room will envy you, babe,” Nash says with a smirk that I just know has melted panties off bodies before.
“Yeah, because I’m walking in with a man so fine they’ve only seen him in magazines,” I chuckle. Look, I know I’m hot. But Nash? If there are straight women in that room tonight, their envy of me will be due to having him on my arm.
“This dress,” Nash shakes his head as he walks up to me. “This dress looks like it was made for the Greek goddess Aphrodite.”
“Shh! She’s a very jealous goddess. I don’t want to end up in the underworld because of a compliment!” I deflect, making Nash huff a laugh.
“Do me a favor and stay close to me tonight. I don’t need my entire family hitting on you while my back is turned,” he says with a smirk, but there’s a tightness in his shoulders that tells me he’s not just teasing.
“Unless I’m peeing, we’ll be hip to hip.” I wink, turning to check my reflection one last time. I chose this dress because it’s sexy, elegant, and comfortable.
It hangs to my ankles, with a slit up my thigh. It's made of satin and is a blushing pink. I put my hair in an updo, letting little curled pieces hang down to frame my face. I went with a nude lipstick and cat eyeliner. My strappy, silver heels make me look taller than I am but are still comfortable.
Satisfied I look good, I grab my silver clutch and turn to Nash, who’s tugging his suit jacket on.
“Ready?” I ask, and he nods.
