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“Milly’s pregnant,” Holden eventually says, and I nod. Mom told me two weeks ago. “She’s keeping the baby.” I nod, having heard that as well. I’ve already texted her, offering support. She’s also got my mom. She won’t be alone.
“I heard,” I sigh.
“It’s Nix’s baby, in case you thought–”
“I didn’t. She’s only eighteen weeks along.” It’s been much longer than that since the last time she saw Holden. “I’ll be an aunt.”
“I’ll be my ex-girlfriend's baby’s uncle…” Holden says, and we both freeze, then start laughing hard.
“That's an episode of Jerry Springer, I think…” I tease, and Holden snorts. I lift my head off his shoulder and look up at him. “I need to say something, but I need you to listen, okay?” I ask, taking his hands in mine. Holden takes in a deep breath, closes his eyes, and nods.
“Okay.” When he opens his eyes, there's a determination there that I don’t quite understand, but I go on anyway.
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry that I hurt you. That I was so carelessly reckless. I’m sorry for my behavior, and drinking, and all of it.” My voice shakes, and I release one of his hands, so I can caress his cheek, forcing him to look at me. “I’m not sorry that you know how I felt about you. I’m sorry for the way everything happened, but I don’t regret that you learned the truth. Appropriate or not, I care for you, Holden.”
“Rose,” Holden whispers, but I keep going.
“I would probably go about it differently if I could go back, but I wouldn’t take it back. I just want you to know that. I want you to be happy. However, that looks for you, I’ll support it. Even if it’s from a distance,” I confess. The silence between us steals my breath as I wait for him to say something.
“I don’t want distance from you, Rose. I never have. I just want you to be mine.”
Then he kisses me. It’s a sweet kiss. Gentle and soft, and when he pulls away, he stands, holding his hand out for me to take.
I allow him to lead me out of Nix’s room and across the hall to the one I grew up in. Holden shuts the door, pulls me into his arms, and kisses me once again.
He uses his body to say all the things our words can’t as he kisses me like I’m his air. It’s all-consuming and explosive. When I reach for the bottom of his shirt, pulling it up, he breaks away from our kiss only long enough to remove his shirt and then mine.
“Fuck.” Holden pauses as he reaches out to caress the skin under my breasts. I never put a bra on this morning. I nibble my lip, self-conscious of my piercings. “These… Jesus,” he whispers as his thumb brushes over my nipple, and my back arches, pushing my breast into his touch.
“Can I confess something?” I look up, meeting his eyes through my lashes. “I did it hoping you’d notice. I wanted you to… I don’t know.” I blush, shaking my head and looking away.
“Wanted me to want you? Don’t get me wrong, these are unbearably sexy, but I already wanted you desperately, Rose.” His words make me smile, and I meet his baby-blue gaze once more.
“I’ve always wanted you too.”
CHAPTER FORTY SEVEN
“Be the One” by Bree Runway and Khalid
HOLDEN
“I always wanted you to be my first,” she says softly, and I groan, my eyes falling shut. I feel her step around me and into her room, so I open my eyes and watch her approach her bed and then take her pants off.
She bends, and as the jeans slide down her thighs, I bite my fist as I admire the curve of her ass in the thong she wears.
“Make love to me,” she whispers, still facing her bed, and I suck in a ragged breath.
“Look at me.” She turns and looks over at me through her lashes, head tilted down. I step in front of her, lifting her chin with my fingers, so she’s forced to really look at me.
“There’s no going back. Not for me, Rose. You’re end game… I don’t want anyone else. Never really have. Even when I knew I couldn’t have you. Shouldn’t want you, but it was always you. You’re it for me,” I say honestly, hoping like hell that this isn’t the moment she pushes me away.
“Nash and Ren,” she whispers so quietly I almost didn’t hear her. I nod, smiling.
“Do you want me, Rose?”
“I do.”
“Then we’ll figure the rest out later. Give yourself to me, Rose, and I’ll be yours forever.”
