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My strides were long as I made my way back to my golf cart and drove over to the green. I hopped off and grabbed my putter. There was a nervousness that settled in my hands as I gripped it between them. I wasn’t playing my best in terms of putting today, but it was definitely better than it had been, which gave me a small ounce of confidence. Maybe I wasn’t destined for failure.
Perhaps there was hope in my life in more aspects than one.
It felt surreal and almost as if it were a dream. Even though I had made it to a professional level with golf, that didn’t mean anything came easy to me in life. I lived with a glass-half-empty mentality. It was only a matter of time before things went to shit and before the other shoe dropped. It didn’t take much for things to blow up in your face and then you were left to sift through the rubble.
Wes and Nico walked over to the green and Wes stepped over to lift the pin from the hole for me to make my putt. No one spoke a word as I focused on where I needed the ball to go and made my shot. I read the green appropriately and I watched as the ball sank into the hole.
My eyes widened and I quickly washed away the look of shock. It was a seamless move and it was the first of the day. The first in such a long time. I don’t know how it happened, but it was something I needed to continue to replicate. I needed to get back into a consistent groove to prove to myself I could do this. I could play professionally and handle the pressure that came along with it.
“Nice shot, Kai,” Nico said from where he was standing behind me. “Are you going to elaborate on what you meant by you guys doing things backward?”
I walked over to the hole and bent down to get my ball before taking the pin from Wes. I turned to look at Nico as he was lining up his own shot. Typically, we wouldn’t talk when someone was trying to focus, but I wasn’t particularly amused with him.
“Exactly what I said. We ran into each other, we ended up sleeping together, and now she’s actually giving me a chance.”
Wes nodded in understanding. “You’re playing the long game, so you’re pulling back now.”
“Not necessarily pulling back. Just slowing things down a bit.”
Nico lifted his gaze to look at me. “I get why you’re doing it,” he said with the same understanding Wes had. “You fucked up before and you don’t want to fuck it up again.”
“Precisely.”
My phone vibrated in my pocket, drawing my attention from the guys. Nico took two putts to get his ball in the hole and he took the pin from me as I pulled my phone out and stepped away from them. A sigh escaped me as I saw my mother’s name on the screen.
“Hello, Mother.”
“Malakai,” she spoke softly and clearly. It was early in the morning still, so she either hadn’t started drinking yet or she was only on her first mimosa of the day. “I was wondering if you would like to get lunch today.”
I was thankful she remembered that I told her I did not care to come back to see her at her home. “Would you be available for a late lunch—perhaps around two? I’m in the middle of a round right now.”
“Yes, yes, of course,” she said with more enthusiasm than I expected. “There’s a small coffee shop in town called Tourmaline. Would you be interested in meeting me there?”
“That would be fine.”
“Perfect. I will see you then,” she responded before ending the call.
My shoulders sagged slightly as a defeated sigh escaped me. I didn’t have a clue as to why she would want to see me, but I would find out in a few short hours. The guys were waiting for me as I walked back over and I could tell Nico wanted to ask.
“Shall we continue then?” he asked instead which took me by surprise.
I nodded as I climbed back onto my cart. “Absolutely.”
* * *
“It’s so good to see you again, Malakai,” my mother said quietly as she sat across from me. “How have you been since I last saw you?”
I stared back at her as I took a sip of my drink. “I’ve been well. How have you been?”
“Oh, we’re not here to talk about me,” she replied with a wave of her hand. “I feel like I don’t even know what is going on in my son's life and it makes me feel like a terrible mother.”
My expression was blank, yet I could feel her words hit my chest. I had put enough distance between myself and my family, so I was partially to blame for her not knowing what was going on. At the same time, if she really cared, she could ask me. She could find out.
There were times in your life where you had to make the choice to cut the toxicity out of your life. I didn’t cut them out, but I reduced it by avoiding my parents.
“What do you want to know?”
She didn’t order any food even though she asked me here for lunch. As I studied her face, I noticed the tiredness that had settled in her eyes. She was growing older and I could see past the Botox and filler. The years of being Winston Barclay’s wife was taking its toll on her.
