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I laughed softly and nodded. “I got a degree in English literature and I was working at a publishing house as a junior editor before moving here. I wasn’t sure what I was going to do but the library was in need of a new librarian and it fit what I was looking for, for now.”
“Have you ever considered trying to write yourself? I remember you used to talk about how you wanted to be an author, but I wasn’t sure if you ever did anything with that.”
“I tried and kind of gave up. The stuff with Kai had messed with my head and everything I wrote hurt.” I stopped for a second and shrugged. “I’ve been considering trying again.”
Mischief danced in Giana’s eyes and she lifted an eyebrow at me.“That wouldn’t have anything to do with the two of you being around each other again, would it?”
I narrowed my eyes on her. “What makes you think we’re around each other at all?”
“I have my ways,”she signed and winked.“What’s going on with you both?”
“We’re taking things slow and going to see where it goes.”
She stared at me for a moment.“So, you’ve forgiven him then?”
I nodded. “Holding on to it wasn’t good for anyone. I lived long enough with that hate and bitterness. You know how Kai is. There’s a lot more to him than everyone sees. He’s been fighting his own demons for years and I think he pushed me away because he thought he was saving me from himself.”
“Just promise me you’ll be careful with him this time.”Giana stared back at me with such intensity and concern.“I don’t want to see him hurt you again.”
“I know,” I whispered as a sigh escaped me. “I’m not sure I would survive another heartbreak from him.”
“He's got a lot of baggage, Winter. He’s not exactly the most pleasant person either.”She took a sip of her wine before continuing to sign. “I can’t help but worry about you getting involved with him. What if he’s no different than he was before? Malakai always had a lot of issues.”
“I’ll be okay, Giana,” I told her with a forced smile. “I know what I’m doing with him.”
She gave me a reluctant look but nodded.“I hope so.”
There it was again. Hope. The one thing I knew I shouldn’t have when it came to Malakai Barclay.
Yet it was the one thing I was desperately clinging to.
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
MALAKAI
Past
Crouching down, I looked across the green from my ball to the hole. All I had to do was make this last putt and the championship was mine. I was already leading by at least six points, but I couldn’t mess up this last shot. It would just look bad and poorly executed on my part.
I stood back up, lined up my putter at the exact angle I felt would be appropriate, and pulled back on the club. It lightly met the ball with a firm, yet soft tap and I watched as it rolled across the green before sinking into the hole. A sense of satisfaction filled me, yet it was mundane.
I loved golf, I loved the sport and everything that came with it, but as I glanced out at the crowd, it all fell short. My mother was standing and talking with a few of her friends and I saw the back of my father’s broad shoulders as he stalked away. The one person I wanted to see wasn’t here.
Her parents forbid her from seeing me, so it was no surprise she wasn’t here. That didn’t mean there wasn’t a part of me that wished to have her constantly by my side. Winter Reign was the only person who had ever mattered to me on this godforsaken planet.
The tournament had officially come to an end and after everyone had finished their final round, we met back at the clubhouse for the awards ceremony. I was completely detached as I was handed my trophy and forced out a rehearsed thank-you to the organizers as I received it from them.
My mother watched from afar, but there was a glossed, distant look in her eyes. It was one I had grown accustomed to. As I approached her, I looked over her shoulder for my father. He was nowhere to be found. His disinterest used to bother me. When I was growing up, I watched the other kids at tournaments as their families surrounded them and showered them with congratulatory celebrations and love. I used to wonder why I never received the same.
Now, I no longer cared.
My father congratulated me with his fists. I could do without any form of celebration or recognition. I would have rather had the bunker turn to quicksand and to have it pull me beneath the surface.
“You did exceptionally well, Malakai,” my mother beamed at me as I walked over to her. She tipped back her glass of wine, draining it in one sip. “Your father had to leave early, but he is requesting our presence at DeLuca for dinner this evening.”
I shook my head at her. There would be no dinner tonight. I was done subjecting myself to the ridicule of a man who played beneath me. My father golfed solely for business reasons. He prided himself in having a son with my talent, but when his friends weren’t around, he rained down on me like hellfire.
I could get a hole in one on every single hole and it still wouldn’t be enough for him. He would still find something to criticize or bring to my attention that I wasn’t doing well. And even though I played a higher level of golf than him, I still let him plague my mind with the vile things he spoke.
