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He climbed the steps and stopped on the porch in front of me. “Hello, darling,” he said softly. He leaned against the pillar along the railing and his gaze collided with mine. “How was dinner with Giana?”
“It went well,” I told him with honesty as I relaxed in my seat. “How was your day?”
The conversation seemed so trivial, so mundane, yet it was what I craved to have with him. Some sense of normalcy rather than the whiplash I was used to.
“I golfed in the morning with Nico and then met my mother for lunch and a healthy dose of family drama.”
He said it with such indifference, as if it were something everyone dealt with. Like it was just another day in the life of Malakai Barclay. My heart constricted at the thought. His childhood trauma was still so present in his life because he had yet to escape the demons he fought daily. Associating with his parents only made it worse.
He had mentioned before about being in therapy and seeing a therapist, but he never elaborated on that. There was a difference to Kai now, even though the struggle was still visibly apparent. He was more mature and a little more levelheaded, but if he was backed into a corner he would strike like a venomous serpent.
“What happened?” I questioned him, motioning for him to sit down on the bench next to me.
A sigh escaped him as he took a seat and lazily draped his arm across the back of the bench. I could feel the warmth of his body with how close he was, but we both stared out into the dark sky.
“Nothing new. She was just being nosy about my life, playing her part as the good mother.” He paused for a moment. “Her loyalty has and will always lie with my father. It’s as if she thinks I am the way I am because she went wrong somewhere in life, but she isn’t fully open to admitting that she went wrong when she chose to stay with my father.”
I turned my head to stare at the side of his face. “You know none of that is your fault, right? Your father is an evil man, but you never deserved the treatment you received from him.”
Kai looked over at me with sadness warping his expression and a pained smile on his lips. “I know. I’ve been in therapy for years since I was able to get out from under my father’s thumb. It’s easier to discuss than it is to fully accept. I have a lot of years of damage I’ve been trying to reverse. It’s quite a difficult task to retrain your brain.”
“I know,” I said softly as I reached out and placed my hand on his thigh. “I know your demons are relentless, but I know you can break through it all. You’re not your father, Malakai.”
He stared at me for a moment, the color slowly draining from his face. “What if you’re wrong? What if I do end up exactly like him?”
I shook my head, lifting my hand to cup the side of his face. “You won’t. You have a heart of gold, even if you appear to be made of cruelty and ice. It’s all a facade. A defense mechanism you hide behind because you’re afraid to let in the good and end up hurt.”
“That’s my biggest fear,” he admitted, his voice barely audible as his eyelids slammed shut. “I’m terrified I’ll be a replica of him.”
“I promise you, you won’t,” I assured him, turning to face him completely as I held his head in my hands. “I know you, Kai. You are not him, and you never will be.”
His eyelids lifted and there was nothing but pain and desperation in his stormy irises. “I don’t know how to be softer and kind. Therapy has helped provide an explanation and a guide for how to deal with my trauma, but I don’t know how to let myself feel properly.”
A small smile pulled on my lips. “Let me show you how, my love.” I rose from the bench and straddled Malakai’s lap before settling on his thighs. “Let me be your beacon of light in the darkness of your world.”
He slid one hand around my lower back, pulling me flush against his body as his other hand snaked around the back of my neck, pulling my face down to his.
“That’s all you’ve ever been.”
He claimed my mouth with his own with desperation and urgency, fierce and hungry. I was the escape he needed. He wanted to lose himself in me and I clung to him with a severity that shook my soul. In a sense, we were equally as lost, but together, we were found.
Malakai lifted me off his lap as we momentarily broke apart. In one swift movement, he lifted me into his arms, my legs instinctively wrapping around his waist. He carried me inside the house without another word as I buried my face in the crook of his neck. His feet took us deep inside, up the winding staircase and down the hallway to my bedroom.
“That was impressive,” I murmured. I lifted my head to look at him as he began to lower me down onto my bed. “You remembered which room was mine.”
“Where you are concerned, darling, I will never forget,” Kai murmured as he released his hold on me and rose from the bed. He watched me with hungry, tormented eyes. “I shouldn’t be in your room right now.”
He kissed me again, but I abruptly pulled back and pushed him away from me. I moved off the mattress, so I was standing directly in front of him as I began to strip until I was completely naked. His gaze was greedy as he drank me in. I watched him as his throat bobbed while he swallowed roughly.
“Winter,” he growled, his voice hoarse and thick with need as he closed the distance between us. “This isn’t us taking things slowly.”
I stepped closer, sliding my hands beneath the bottom of his sweatshirt and the t-shirt underneath. “There is no slow for us, Malakai,” I breathed as I began to push his shirts up his torso. He took over, removing his clothing before tossing them onto the floor. “It’s always been all or nothing with us. We have too much history, too much fire.”
“The fire between us smolders with an intensity greater than the sun,” he said softly as he stripped down until he was bare in front of me. “If we go any slower, the flames will only flourish perversely. Burn with me, darling. Burn until we’re nothing but ash.”
I wrapped my arms around the back of his neck and spun us around until he was standing in my place. I began to guide him until he was laying back on the bed. My knees sank into the plush mattress as I followed him, climbing on top of him. Kai lifted me up with one hand as he grabbed his cock with the other, positioning it against me.
“Always, Kai,” I said breathlessly as I sank down onto him, taking his full length in one movement. “If the sea of flames engulf you, I’ll be right beside you incinerating.”
