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His hands gripped my hips, lifting me up and down as I began to move on top of him. He stared back at me, his gaze penetrating my soul. There was nothing but three words hanging between us. Three words that would shatter the world around us if either of us dared to speak them.
But his eyes—his eyes said it all.
I love you. I love you. I love you.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
MALAKAI
Winter sat on the edge of her bed wearing my t-shirt as she stared out the window. Droplets of rain pelted against the glass and she was lost in her own thoughts. She didn’t notice me as I watched her intently. She was the last thing I saw when I closed my eyes last night and the first thing I saw when I opened them this morning.
I wanted the rest of my days to follow in similar fashion.
There was a softness in her expression. My eyes trailed over her high cheekbones, down the straight slope of her nose, across her plump lips. She was absolute and utter perfection. She was so beautiful, it hurt. My chest constricted, tightening like a vise around my heart as I studied her. There was no one else like Winter Reign and I knew she was it for me.
I loved her from the first time she kissed the scars on my back and wiped the blood from my lip.
The rain slowed before coming to a stop and the clouds in the sky parted as the sun came through. The light shined through Winter’s bedroom window, illuminating her face. A soft smile played on her lips and her eyelids fell shut as she let the warmth seep into her skin.
What I would have given to read her thoughts, just this once. I wanted inside her mind and her heart and soul. I wanted all of her for myself.
Her phone vibrated on the nightstand and she reached for it, glancing at me at the same time. There was a sharp intake of breath and her eyes widened slightly as they slide to mine.
“You’re awake,” she breathed as she ignored her phone ringing.
I shifted on the mattress, rolling onto my back. “Good morning, darling.”
Her phone started vibrating again and she let out an exasperated sigh. “It’s my mother,” she told me as she looked up from the screen. “I’m going to see what she wants and make some coffee.”
I nodded, watching her as she rose from the bed. The hem of my t-shirt brushed against the tops of her thighs. “Take your time.” Winter was just about to answer the call. “Wait. Do you have an extra charger anywhere?”
Winter pointed over to the desk on the opposite side of her room. “Check in my desk. There should be a spare in there.” She smiled at me and answered the call on the last ring. I watched her as she disappeared from the room. Her voice carried through the hallway and I couldn’t help but smile when I heard her mention my name. It wasn’t my place to eavesdrop, but hearing her tell her mother that she was getting ready to make us coffee was a pivotal moment.
Her family had made their distaste for me clear when we were younger. I couldn’t say I blamed them, considering my behavior and how they protected their image and their daughter. What they didn’t know was how deep our connection ran. They didn’t know how much I loved their daughter and how I had desperately tried to protect her from myself even though it only ended up hurting her in the end.
I was here to make things right with her, and it was only a matter of time before our families would find out. Personally, I didn’t care about any of their opinions, but I imagined Winter did. Her family had stronger ties than my own. I had no problem writing mine off if they disagreed. They had already disagreed with my existence, so what was one more disappointment?
Winter and I hadn’t had the chance to discuss any of this with one another. We hadn’t truly defined anything, but it seemed like she had made her mind up. She was letting me back into her life and she wasn’t going to be quiet about it this time.
Sitting up in her bed, I moved until my feet were on the floor and I rose from the mattress. She had stopped talking and the smell of fresh coffee was drifting through the house. I grabbed my pants from the floor and slipped them on before making my way over to Winter’s desk. I pulled open the drawer on the left and didn’t find a charging cord, so I moved to the one in the middle.
My eyes scanned the space for a cord, but they froze as they landed upon my name written in messy cursive writing. The entire page was filled with words and my stomach sank. My movements were hesitant as I picked up the piece of notebook paper and held it in front of my face. I slowly scanned it, noting the darkness of the ink, the way it stained the paper. Each stroke of every letter was laced with pain.
And I began to read it.
Malakai,
I don’t know why I’m even writing this to you. You made it clear that you don’t want me and if I’m being honest, I can’t believe you. I don’t want to believe you, but I’m afraid that I have to. I can’t help but wonder what I did that was so wrong. Why would you leave me? After everything between us, everything we’ve gone through, you were supposed to always be by my side. I promised you that I would never leave and I broke that promise to you tonight. I should have stayed, I should have fought against you… but you were like a stranger. Someone that I didn’t recognize—someone I didn’t even know. The coldness that you kept hidden from me was all that was left of you tonight. Which is why I have no choice but to believe that you meant every single word you said to me. Why else would you say them? My brain hurts, my heart aches. Why, Kai? Why? I wish that you would have just told me that you didn’t apply to Wyncote University. That doesn’t even matter to me. There’s always a way to make things work, but you didn’t even give me the option. You made the choice for me. I told you that I hated you tonight, but I don’t think I really meant it. I don’t hate you. I hate this. I hate what you did to us. I’ve always loved you and I know that I always will, even if that makes me the most pathetic person to ever walk the planet.
I don’t imagine you’ll ever read this. I’m sure it will get tossed to the side, just like you did to me.
That was mean, but I’m not crossing it out. You broke me, Kai.
I don’t know how I’m going to get over you. I don’t know if I ever will.
This hurts.
So bad.
