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I didn’t move from where I was still sitting on the bench as I stared up at her. “Yes, you do.”
“I really don’t,” she breathed, the frustration thick in her tone. “You no longer exist in my world and you don’t get to just show back up like this.”
“Too late, darling,” I shrugged with indifference. “I’m already here and I’m nowhere near done with you.”
Winter glared at me with such an intensity, it felt like she was driving knives directly into my soul. The venom dripped from her fangs and her nostrils flared. “I hate you, Malakai. I fucking hate what you did to me. That hasn’t changed and it never will.”
“That’s fair.” I lifted my glass to my lips and took a slow sip of the amber-colored liquor. “I wouldn’t expect anything less.”
Her lips parted and her mask crumbled away as there was a chip in her frigid stare. Her mouth abruptly shut and she shook her head. I angled my head to the side as she circled around the bench and left me alone at her spot without another word.
Winter had every right to hate me. I never once blamed her for that, nor did I expect anything different from her. I was the one who did this to her. I did this to us. I ruined everything that was between us, and I ruined her in the process.
It was something I had lived with since that night six years ago. I didn’t regret her leaving for college. She thrived while she was away from here and away from me.
There was so much Winter didn’t know—so much I had wanted to tell her, but I couldn’t. Not now, not with things like this between us. I didn’t know how long it would take to win her back or if I would ever be able to.
Forget golf and the prestige. I would have given it all up without a second thought if it meant I would be able to get her back. Unfortunately for me, that wasn’t an option. I put my tour on hold the moment I heard Winter was back. She was the only thing that would ever draw me back to this godforsaken place.
Winter was the only person I would revisit this hell for.
After waiting a few minutes as I sat with my thoughts, I finally rose from the bench and dumped out the rest of my Louis XIIIonto the pristine grass. I stared out at the pond as the sounds of the crickets grew louder and a toad croaked.
This place was the last place I wanted to be tonight. I was a silent sponsor for the charity event tonight, but there was business I still needed to attend to. Thankfully my parents were out of the country, so I wouldn’t have to worry about running into them.
As I walked up to the building, I set my empty glass down on one of the pillars and walked inside. My eyes surveyed the room, looking for any trace of Winter or her sister. When I didn’t see either of them, I met with the few men who ran the golf organization at the country club. They wanted me to help with some of their training while I was in the area.
It wasn't a commitment I was willing to make, but I told them I would consider the offer. I didn’t need their money and I sure didn’t need the job. I had my dream job as a professional golfer waiting for me. I didn’t know that I would ever return to it, though.
Winter was something my parents never brought up. My father never approved of our friendship because he didn’t think I needed any distractions. What he didn’t know was, Winter was my safe place from him. She was my safe haven—the one that I could always run to. She was there for me when no one else ever was. She saved me from myself and my father’s wrath.
My mother loved her, but my mother loved everyone. She was a lush and I found out later in life that she was as out of touch with reality as possible so she didn’t have to worry about my father fucking his assistant. My family had serious issues that would make the people in this building's heads spin. But then again—maybe it wouldn’t.
They all had their own issues and it seemed like once there was money involved and thrown into the mix, the issues were even messier. Winter’s parents were the two I never heard anything bad about, except for the fact that they absolutely hated me. It wasn’t without reason, though. I was a piece of work as a teenager. I would never blame them for wanting to keep their daughter safe.
And she was never safe with me.
I wrapped up the conversations as quickly as possible before excusing myself from the event. There wasn’t a doubt in my mind that Winter didn’t go home, but I had to know for myself. I needed to drive past their estate, just to know that she got there safely. I wanted her tucked away inside the three-hundred-year-old house where nothing could touch her.
She didn’t know that I kept tabs on her for the past six years. She didn’t know that I went to Vermont to see her, even though it was only ever from afar.
There was a lot that she didn’t know about what happened after I let her walk out of my life.
And she was about to find out that I would never be making that mistake again.
CHAPTER FOUR
WINTER
Everything was moving around me in slow motion, yet it felt like things were passing by me faster than the sound of light. My senses were heightened. Everything felt too loud, too bright,too much.I was in sensory overload and my breathing was growing more ragged with every rushed step I took.
My heart pounded erratically in my chest, so much to the point that it felt as if it were going to burst out of my chest. Faces moved past me in a blur as I pushed through the crowded room. I didn’t know where to go. I needed to get out of here. I needed somewhere quiet and private. My walls were crumbling and the facade I had worked so hard to build was falling.
I thought I had caught sight of my sister, but everything was too loud, I couldn’t process properly. I was too busy trying to focus on my breathing while trying to plan my escape. My eyes landed on the hall that led to the front door and I knew I needed to go.
Where I was going, I had absolutely no idea, but I just needed to get out of there as quickly as possible. It had been a few years since my last panic attack and I knew that was exactly what was happening.
There was only ever one person who was able to help me through moments like this, but I couldn’t go back to him. Not when he was the one who triggered this attack.
