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Those three words hit just as hard asI love you.We’re all well aware that trust isn’t really her thing, but she offers it to us anyway.
Determined to not turn this into a fuck fest before I’ve even marked her, I will my cock to soften so I can focus on the task at hand. Shuffling toward the edge of the bed so I’m a little closer, I turn the tattoo gun on. A smile teases the corner of my lips. The buzz of the gun combined with Swifty in the background relaxes me like nothing else.
Scarlett doesn’t flinch as I press the ink into her skin, if anything her shoulders relax and she settles in further. We remain quiet for a while before I clear my throat.
“I made an appointment today.”
“You did? For what?” she asks, hands flexing on the chair as she restrains herself from turning around.
“For my heart.” The organ thunders in my chest, a reminder that it’s there and needs my attention.
“You did?” The surprise in her voice is quickly outweighed with awe.
“I did.”
“I really wish you were telling me this while I was facing you right now,” she admits, a slight chuckle to her words.
“Yeah, but then you could mumbleI told you soor something and I’m just not ready for that level of sass from you at this time of night,” I tease, and I can practically see her eyes rolling in my mind.
I expect a cheeky blast back from her, but silence swirls in the air around us for a few moments before she speaks, soft and quiet. “Did you do this for yourself?”
“I did this for you,” I answer honestly, knowing full well that it’s not what she wants to hear, but it’s what she’s getting anyway.
“You know that’s not supposed to be the reasoning, right? You’re supposed to—”
“I didn’t have a reason for it to beat until you.”
I could swear she curses under her breath at my words, but it’s so quiet I can’t be sure. A few minutes pass as I continue to work on the outline of her tattoo, until she clears her throat.
“You have always had a reason for your heart to beat, Emmett. For yourself, for Emily, the memory of your parents…”
“I know what you’re saying, Snowflake, but as much as you may look at me and Emily and think we had this whole awesome family vibe going on, we really didn’t.” Apparently, the hum of the tattoo gun and the Taylor Swift song in the background is turning this into a literal therapy session. I don’t want to unload on her, she carries the weight of enough, but I want her to understand me on a level no one else ever has. “My mom died from cancer when I was younger, taking away the caring figure in our lives. The rest of it is filled with the club. I was a part of the Ruthless Brothers before I was even an initiated member. My father only saw these four walls as home, as his life. Most nights, we slept here with a passed-out father leaving two kids unattended.” The memory of those dark and confusing times tighten my chest, but the pain isn’t for me, it’s for Emily, just as it always has been.
“I’m sorry, Emmett. I’m sorry your stability was stripped away.”
“Honestly, I got lost in it for a while. The pain, the anger, the frustration that my life was spiraling and I had no control over it. I regret that time so much, but I was just a kid. A hurt and sad kid. Everything changed one night when I saw Emily dancing around on the table top, living her best life to a Taylor Swift song, with two of the Ruthless Bitches who were off their faces. My father was nowhere to be found, my mom buried six feet under, and I realized the only person who could truly take care of her and offer her the stability I craved so much was me.” I exhale, speaking the truth taking its toll on me. “I pulled her down from the table, hating that she was upset since everyone was cheering her on, but I offered to read her a bedtime story and her eyes widened. We hadn’t had one of those since mom died.”
“You are everything to your sister, Emmett.”
“She’s everything to me too. Which is why I read her a bedtime story every night after. I didn’t leave her unattended on the compound and made a point of taking her back to our house, until my father managed to stumble that way too. He loved us, I know he did, but he loved Mama most, and without her, he couldn’t breathe.”
I pull the gun from her skin, dipping it into the ink as I catch my breath and give myself a moment.
“I can’t even imagine what that would have been like for both of you, but the fact that you stepped up and put her first only strengthened you. You’re not reckless or single-minded. You're whole-hearted, family orientated, and a protector. Everything I longed for, and now here you are.”
Wetting my lips, I lift off the bed just enough to press a kiss to her cheek. “I’ll always be what you need me to be, Snowflake.” I catch a glimpse of her lips tilting up as I drop back down again.
“I’ll always protect you just as fiercely too.” Her words send a shiver down my spine. I’ve spent so long taking care of everyone else, it feels strange for someone to promise it to me, but I love it.
Drawing the last black line on her flesh, I look at my handiwork with a smile. Do you want this colored in at all or…”
“No, it feels more powerful in black alone.” I nod, turning the gun off and laying it on the nightstand beside me.
“You’re right. Do you know what the lotus flower represents?” I ask, cleaning the freshly inked area.
“I don’t. I was just drawn to it, if that even makes any sense,” she admits, and that only makes it that much sweeter that she chose it.
“A black lotus flower represents darkness, death, power, and rebellion. But it can also mean overcoming obstacles, hardship, and whatever life throws at you. I can’t think of anything better to represent you, Snowflake.”
