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There was a knock at the door and Joshua’s head poked in. “You have a personal engagement at six o’clock, miss.”
“Yes, of course. Thank you.” She was grateful for the interruption, and she guided Kim to the open door. “Can you show my visitor out, please?” Turning away, it occurred to her that ghosts of the past showing up was the last thing she needed right now. She had to keep her head down and her sheet clear. If only she could crack on with work and drown out the thoughts that played on her mind at night. She went back to her office for her bag so she could meet Elda at a pub around the corner.
An hour later, Charlie twisted a beermat at the bar and checked her watch. Elda was late, gifting her time to stew over Kim’s money troubles.
“Hey, you.”
Elda’s voice tickled her neck, and she swung around, almost touching her lips.
“That was close,” Elda said.
Charlie’s laugh was more high-pitched than she’d have liked. “Hi.” She gained enough control to dispense a brief hug. Elda leaned into it further than usual. Charlie liked it. “Have you been drinking somewhere else without me?”
“I had a couple after work with Jack.” Elda’s cheeks flushed. She fidgeted with her backpack and grinned. “Let’s sit. I need your help with something.”
God, she was beautiful. Charlie gripped her own fist to avoid any further physical contact. She couldn’t be trusted not to pull Elda to her lips. “Sounds intriguing.” Charlie cleared her throat and picked up two glasses of wine.
They settled in a booth, shoulder to shoulder. Charlie leaned away, forcing some distance between them. Her head was still spinning from her run-in with Kim. “How was the studio? Did you get into something?” Charlie asked. She tipped the glass against her lips, letting the alcohol burn the back of her tongue.
“Not really. I didn’t have time to get into the zone. But something else happened.” Elda wrinkled her nose.
Charlie’s stomach flipped inside out, possibilities ticker-taping through her mind. “Tell me. What is it?”
“Francis offered me a job.” Elda pressed her palms to her cheeks. “It’s a teaching post, but it comes with a studio, so I can work.”
“Really? Where?” She dreaded the response.
“In Paris.” Elda dropped her chin. “I don’t know what to do.”
Charlie’s breath stuck in her throat, and panic rose beneath her ribs. Elda couldn’t go—she’d only just found her. “Is it what you want?”
“I don’t know if I want to live in Paris. I’m not sure I want to…not live here.” Elda shifted against the leather seat. “But it could be amazing. I can’t begin to think about what it might lead to. And I can’t stay working in Jack’s office for the rest of my life.”
The inevitability of their separation crept into Charlie’s stomach. The emptiness could’ve been hunger, but she recognised it as something more. Elda was slipping away, and she had no right to stop her. How could she ask Elda to prioritise their friendship over a dream job? That was all they had so far, wasn’t it? Friendship. She couldn’t offer Elda anything more because she didn’t trust herself to be that person.
“What do you think I should do?”
Charlie swallowed the truth with a gulp of wine. She wanted to scream at Elda to stay. Wanted to kiss her. To discover how she tasted. But the words wouldn’t come. She’d never asked anyone for anything. How could she forgive herself if she thwarted Elda’s career for what might only be a few nights of amazing sex? “You should go. It’s an unbelievable opportunity. Working in Paris,” her voice strained, “being able to create and paint… It’s all you’ve dreamed of, isn’t it?” It wasn’t a question. “Francis will be there to support you too.”
Charlie’s bones ached for Elda to reject the suggestion. She closed her eyes with an unspoken plea that Elda would hear something beyond her words, beneath the bravado she kicked out into the world.
“You’re right.” Elda broke the silence, crushing Charlie’s hopes. She took her own glass and lifted it in celebration. “A toast? To new beginnings.”
“To new beginnings.” Charlie forced her glass towards the ceiling, as her shoulders dropped, defeated. “This calls for something fizzy.” Charlie rose to her feet and walked to the bar, steadying her breath. She couldn’t bear to look Elda in the face. She was losing her, even though Elda wasn’t hers to begin with.
Blinking back tears, she thought about her own career. She had to put work first to get anywhere in the chambers. She had so much potential: wasting it wasn’t an option. She’d been coasting with her cases ever since Elda had jumped in front of her car. Before that, she’d been happy with work and play. Maybe she’d call Jude for a hook-up. The idea stung.
She snuck a look over at the booth. Elda’s hair fell onto her slim shoulders, and she dusted it away. Even wearing a frown, she sent sparks through Charlie’s body. Rolling back to life before Elda was unthinkable. But she had no choice. Elda was leaving for Paris, and Charlie could be nothing more than be a good friend about it.
Chapter Twelve
“You’re early, miss.” Joshua scrambled up off his chair. “I’ll get you a cuppa.”
“Thank you, that’d be good.” Charlie had been up since four a.m., tossing and turning over the conversation with Elda at the bar. She went over every syllable, looking for signs that Elda wanted her to say something different. Maybe she’d missed something.
In the end she couldn’t trust her reading of the situation. If she had pushed Elda away, there was no going back now. She just had to move on with her life. They could still be friends, couldn’t they? She could visit Paris. Slumping into her chair, she closed her eyes and pinched the tension between her brows. The sleepless night was catching up with her.
Joshua entered and placed a cup and a pastry on her desk. “Thought you might need some sugar too.”
