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The closer he got, the harder I laughed. “Stop, Chase! You look like a crazy person.”
He finally stopped. His expression changed as he looked into my eyes. As close as we were, I knew I could not let myself get sucked into his mesmerizing stare. I lowered my gaze, but quickly discovered that looking at his lips was no better. He pressed his body against mine, wrapping his arms around me so I could not escape. It was not aggressive or forceful, like the drunken Shawn from before; it was gentle and warm in his embrace. Plus, Chase smelled much better.
“Your friends are probably waiting for you.” I tried to distract him.
“So let them wait.”
I put my hand on his chest and lightly pushed him back. “Chase…”
He dropped his arms and took a step back. I could tell he was trying to hide a disappointed expression.
“I’m sorry. I promise I owe you a dance once the sling is off.”
“Okay. I’ll hold you to that, you know.”
“I know.”
He escorted me safely to the girls who were holding my seat at the bar.
“You sound great up there!” Shelly shouted.
I nodded in agreement. “You do.”
His eyes lit up. “You think so?”
I motioned to the girls standing in waiting a few feet behind him. “You even got your own groupies.”
He didn’t turn around to look. “So, what’s the verdict? Do I sound as good as Perry?”
“It’s a close call.”
He grinned. “I’m glad you came out tonight.”
“So are we,” Tina interjected. “Who knew all we had to do was send Chase Brooks over to convince you to come out of hiding.”
I raised my middle finger in her face.
“Chase!” One of his bandmates called over to him from a table across the room. “Let’s go!”
“I’m being summoned.” He flashed me a smile before returning to his friends.
“He really likes you, Merr,” Kenzie said gently. “I don’t know if you’re interested, but he definitely is.”
“We’re just friends.”
“If you have to keep stating that you’re just friends – you’re not,” Tina stated bluntly.
Shelly nodded, but said nothing. She knew better than to jump on this bandwagon.
“Maybe the time isn’t right for you yet, but it will be.” Kenzie was always the peacemaker of the group. I appreciated her softness. “You won’t feel this way forever. You will feel better.”
I was not so sure of that. I didn’t know how to get past the things that had happened to me and act like everything could be good ever again. It was hard enough waking up to find out that I had been in a coma for almost two weeks. I was confused, and it took a while to remember the events that had led to that moment in the hospital bed. I had completely too much to drink, and crashed head-on into a tree. As I recalled why I was drunk in the first place, the unwanted memories came flooding back: I had showed up wasted to my father’s funeral – my father was dead. I couldn’t bear the pain. Nothing was normal; nothing made sense.
Everyone kept telling me that I would feel better in time, but when you’re waiting to feel better, time feels like your worst enemy. What does “better” even mean? When grieving an unexpected loss, how do you feel better, exactly? All I wanted was for everything to go back to the way it used to be. It’s like an eternal feeling of wanting to go home, but never actually getting there. I’m stuck searching for that sense of comfort, not knowing if I’ll ever feel it again.
I tried to be okay for Shelly tonight. I tried to put on a brave face, but being around people made me more depressed. Luckily, Chase’s next set began. I enjoyed the music almost as much as I enjoyed watching him in his glory on stage. He served as a diversion from any and all other thoughts.
When the show was over, he and his bandmates began packing up their equipment.
