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I lifted an old photo album out next. “Their wedding album. Also garbage.”
“It’s so weird to see the things she left behind. Like what made her decide to take certain things, but leave others? How did she choose?”
I shrugged. “Why she did the things she did will always be a mystery to me. I’ll never know. Sometimes I think it’s better this way. Not knowing.”
Another album was next. I flipped through the pages to see if there were any photos worth saving.
“You look a lot like her,” Chase said gently.
I nodded. “I used to wonder if that made it worse for my dad. To see her in me, like a constant walking reminder.”
“I wonder if my mom will feel the same when she looks at me, after my dad is gone.”
I looked up into his eyes that were filled with hurt. “Your mom will be reminded of what an amazing man he was whenever she looks at you.”
He looked down at his lap.
I touched his arm. “I wish I could take away your pain.”
“I feel the same way with you.” He covered my hand with his, but could not bring his eyes to meet mine.
“You’ve helped me through the darkest time in my life. I can’t ever thank you enough.”
“You don’t have to thank me.” He averted his attention back to the box, reaching inside. He pulled out a folded piece of paper. “A note?”
I half laughed. “This was the note she left on the kitchen table when she disappeared.”
He opened it and his mouth dropped open. “I’m sorry… that’s it? Is she for real?”
“She’s for real, alright.” I took the note and slapped it on top of the garbage pile. “I guess she couldn’t find the words to explain what a selfish piece of shit she was.”
He shook his head. “That explains why you hate apologies so much.”
I had never put the two together before.
Some CDs came out of the box next, and a pair of worn slippers after that. With them, I tossed aside birthday cards she had given me, and more pictures. At the very bottom sat a small black velvet box. I took it out and peeked at the ring inside.
“You should keep that,” Chase suggested.
“I guess I could see how much it’s worth.”
“Not to pawn it. Your dad picked this ring out. He bought it with his own money, and with the love that he had for her. They created you with that love. This ring represents a lot.”
“How did you get to be so insightful, Chase Brooks?”
He grinned. “What can I say? I was born a genius.”
I rolled my eyes and smiled. “Okay, genius. That’s the end of the box.”
“Let me get all of this crap outside to the garbage.” He stood and picked up the box. “Then we can order in if you want?”
“Ooh – let’s order from that new sushi place that opened down the road.”
“I’ll eat whatever,” he called as he was already halfway to the door.
Throwing away the contents of my former life was like a mental garbage day. Little by little, I was learning to make better choices for myself. My mother had abandoned me long ago, yet I was choosing to hold on to the pain; I was choosing to hold on to her leftovers. She was gone, and she was never coming back. Tonight, I chose to let go of the things that no longer served a purpose. I chose to give myself the closure I had never properly gotten. I chose happiness over the bitterness that I carried around with me for far too long.
“Goodbye,” I said aloud to the empty room.
