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“I was there. My parents were, too.”
“Oh, God. I didn’t know that. You guys didn’t need to be there.”
“My parents were going. I had just gotten back from California when I heard the news. I felt terrible for you. I knew you my whole life. To watch someone going through something like that… it feels awful.”
“So I guess you saw everything that happened that night.” I looked down at my lap. It was embarrassing to think about how drunk everyone had seen me, let alone knowing that Chase had witnessed it, too.
He nodded. “I did. I wanted to stop you from leaving. I often think about what would have happened if I could have stopped you. Maybe you wouldn’t have been in that accident.”
“I don’t think anyone could have stopped me. I was so angry, and drunk. It was my own fault.”
“I don’t know why we have to go through these things.”
“Nobody knows. But you have me – I will help you through it. I didn’t think I was up for the job when you first told me about your dad being sick. But over time, I understood why you wanted to be friends.”
“What do you mean?” His eyebrows were furrowed. “What job?”
“I couldn’t figure out why you were suddenly talking to me, and offering to drive me to therapy.” I laughed. “I mean, come on. We never spoke all those years in school.”
His eyes tightened. “You think I’ve been talking to you all this time just because my dad is dying? You think of this – of me – as a job?”
“No. That part came out wrong. I just figured you wanted help from someone who went through something similar. Why else would you be talking to me?”
“Gee, Merritt. I don’t know. It can’t possibly be because I have feelings for you. Because you can’t accept something like that in your life, right? No, it must be because I’m using you as my therapist. That makes total sense.” He stood. “Why do you think I kissed you tonight? Did you take that as that some form of payment for your services?”
I jumped to my feet. “Chase, no. You’re getting it all mixed up.”
“No. You’re the one who has it all mixed up. I have been trying so hard to prove myself to you – to show you that I’m not playing games, and to show you that you can trust me. I actually thought I was getting somewhere. I thought… I thought you felt the way I do. But no. You were just trying to help me. You felt bad for me.”
“No, stop. You’re not listening to me.”
“You know, you’ve been making yourself clear all this time, and I just didn’t listen. I thought you were going through a rough time, and I just had to be patient for you to see what we have. But I guess it’s time I start hearing what you’ve been telling me all along.”
“Everything is coming out wrong. Please just sit and let me fix this.”
“I can’t do this right now. My father is dying in the room back there – I need to focus on what is important.”
“Okay. You’re right. We can save this for another time.” I took my phone out of my pocket. “I’ll call a cab or something.”
Chase rubbed his eyes and ran his fingers through his hair. “You don’t have to leave. My mom was so excited that you came.” He looked down at his feet. “My dad didn’t even get to see you, yet.”
“You tell me what you want me to do, and I’ll do it. If you want me to leave, I’ll go. If you want me to stay, I’m here.”
“Stay.” He sighed and turned to walk back to the room without another word.
I followed. All I wanted to do was run into the bathroom and cry. I was stunned at the turn the conversation had taken, and how angry he was. I had not seen Chase like that before, and I did not know how to react. I needed to figure out a way to smooth things over, but not now. I had to wait for a better time. As I walked into room 303, I wasn’t sure when that better time would come.
14
Peace Pie
“Hello? Earth to Merritt.”
I looked up at the sound of my name. “Huh?”
“Can you please pass the gravy?”
“Oh. Sorry.” I lifted the plastic bowl in front of me and handed it to Don.
