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Noah clamps her hand over her mouth. “What did you say?”
“I was shocked. And since she was a stranger, I told her I wanted a paternity test.” I look into her eyes, her irises the same dark-brown color as mine. “You’re mine, kid. That one unsafe decision led to the best thing that ever happened to me.”
Noah leans forward on the edge of her seat. “What happened to Mom after she had me?”
“We agreed to co-parent, but it became clear that she was addicted to drugs. I did everything I could to get her clean for your sake. But she wasn’t well, Noah. She struggled with her mental health and she resorted to drugs to escape whatever she was feeling. So when she chose to leave you, it wasn’t because she didn’t love you. It was because she was suffering with something bigger than both of us.”
“We learned about addiction last month in school.” Noah stares down at her hands as she talks. “My teacher said it’s hereditary…which means I could become an addict too.”
“You won’t.”
Her eyes flick to mine. “How do you know?”
“Because you’re a smart kid, and you won’t let anyone pressure you into trying that shit.” I point my index finger at her. “Not even Reese Paisley.”
She averts her eyes again. “I don’t understand why Mom would do drugs.”
“Mental disorders take over your mind,” Jason says. “And they make you do things you wouldn’t normally do. My mom has bipolar disorder, and when she wasn’t on her meds for a while, it got bad.”
“Could I have a mental disorder?” she asks. “Are those hereditary?”
“They could be. But I think you would’ve exhibited signs by now.” I lean forward and squeeze her knee. “And even if you did, we’d handle it together. You will always have me through all the good times and all the bad ones.”
“You have us,” Mitch adds.
Noah pauses, her eyes bouncing around the room as she absorbs everything I’m telling her.
“Does this make you feel better?” I ask.
“It helps, talking about it with you. Hearing the story from your experience.” She hikes a shoulder. “It doesn’t change anything, but it does make me feel better. I think the not knowing was worse.”
I reach out and clasp her hand. “I’m sorry I kept it from you. You deserve to know.”
“Just like Lenny deserves to know how you feel.”
I never wanted to hurt Elena. I thought I was doing the right thing. Everyone says that if you love someone, set them free.
But maybe what she really deserves is someone to stand and fight for her.
Her father, Neil, even her mother are gone. And I pushed her away like she didn’t matter. I made her believe that she wasn’t one of the most important things in my life.
I run my fingers through my hair, pulling at the roots. “I messed everything up, huh?”
She nods. “But you can fix it.”
“How do you know that?”
“Because I know she wants you to.”
“Did she say that?” Mitch asks.
“No, but you’re going to have to trust me on this.”
“Okay, baby Yoda.” I squeeze her shoulder. “I trust you.”
18
Elena
