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I like to think I’m still a good, honest guy. Time just moved us forward.
My life is blissfully uncomplicated.
And it’s fine. I love living like this. Everyone wants this.
There’s nothing I would change.
CHAPTER3
Emmerson
The first night being back home feels nostalgic and homely. It reminds me of how much I miss it… and my parents.
I’m not convinced my dad is feeling the best at all, despite what he says. I sure as hell wish their appointment with Dr. Finlay would come around sooner. At least I will be here when they visit him.
We have takeout for dinner, mom orders my favorite Thai food. We still sit in the dining room just off the kitchen like we’ve always done. They’ve painted since last time, and remodeled the kitchen a little, but for the most part, things remain the same.
I love the feel of this house… the only thing is that it brings back memories every single time. Memories of Taylor.
He spent as much time in this house as my other high school besties, Susie and Cindy.
Everywhere I look, I still see him.
“Gillian wanted to come over and say hello while you’re in town,” mom says, passing me the coconut rice. I almost choke on a mouthful of pad Thai.
She has to be joking.
I haven’t seen Gillian in a long time. I’ve managed to dodge her on most of my trips back home, and the times I have seen her we’ve exchanged quick pleasantries, but I’ve never stopped to chat. It isn’t like I can be a total bitch to her, even if she did accost me all those years ago by jumping into my car and telling me how it was a bad idea to keep things going with her son.
I guess she is ecstatic these days with what he has achieved without me in the picture.
I always knew he was going places; it was obvious from the first day I met him.
I can’t lie and say it doesn’t stir things up thinking about him… and I feel vulnerable to my own thoughts, especially after Doug and I called it quits.
Since then, Taylor has been on my mind incessantly.
It’s like my brain has no filter. I’ve mastered it for years… but on home turf, it’s always a different story. Seattle holds such strong memories of me and him as a couple. I was lucky to escape that in Florida. While he played in Florida from time to time, Doug made sure we were out of town or busy when Taylor was so close by. I’m sure it was so our paths never crossed.
Now I’m faced with the fact that Taylor's mom wants to play pleasantries. How in the hell she still lives next door is beyond comprehension… I thought she’d be living in some mansion by now, as it isn’t like Taylor couldn’t afford it. His transfer went down in history when he moved to the Hawks… Taylor is worth a lot of money. And I know he’d look after his mom. She’s his number one supporter.
“Umm, great,” I say, trying to keep the monotone out of my voice.
Nobody, except Maddie, knows the conversation I had with Gillian that day, and I doubt they ever will.It wasn’t that I was trying to protect her, I was more trying to protect myself. And it was just too hard to talk about.
“She still thinks so fondly of you,” Dad says, running a hand through his short, graying hair and pushing up his specs. “She asks about you every time we see her.”
I find that very hard to believe…
“She must be so proud of Taylor,” Maddie says.
I shoot her a look. She’s usually careful about even talking about him… except for when she’s trying to convince me to go to a damn game while I’m in town. “I meant, he’s done well for himself over the years,” she quickly adds.
“That he has,” Dad agrees.
Mom looks at me and I smile. She knows. She’s always known.
“I’m trying to convince Em to go to a game,” Maddie goes on, like I’m not even sitting here. “Cindy can get us ringside seats… If she doesn’t want to go, maybe you guys would?”
