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“It isn’t like you haven’t done well for yourself,” she says.
“So it all worked out for the best, is that what you’re saying?”
“I’m saying you’ve done incredibly well, despite everything.”
“I didn’t have much say in the matter.” Putting my knife and fork down, I run a hand through my hair. “I threw myself into it. I expect you did the same with your job?”
“Yes.” She nods. “I had to do something to take my mind off things. Trust me, being without you was the worst thing that ever happened to me.”
My mouth goes dry. It’s the same for me too, and she knows it.
A thought occurs to me then about Doug, and I contemplate whether to bring it up.
It isn’t like everything is off the table, after all.
“I heard about you and Doug Allbright,” I say.
I distinctly see her blush again. Even though it’s dim in here, I still notice.
“Doug.” She sighs.
“That was a surprise.”
“It was two years later.”
“Hey, you don’t have to justify it to me. I was surprised, that’s all, being Doug and all.”
She lets out a breath, and I figure she is uncomfortable talking about her breakup. I guess I can’t really blame her.
“Look, he wasn’t you... is that what you want me to say?”
I stare at her levelly. Okay, so I wasn’t expecting that.
“You can say whatever you want, Emmerson. As long as it’s the truth.”
“I will always tell you the truth.”
I tilt my head on the side, because I know from past experience that’s not necessarily true. She knows it too, because she suddenly pushes out her chair.
It hits me that she could be the one walking out on dinner.
“Em…” I push my chair out too.
“I just need to go to the ladies’ room and have a moment,” she says.
I half stand, slightly relieved she’s not heading out of here like I was feeling like doing just earlier.
Fuck. I know this is a lot, but I need to rein it in.
“It’s also the first time you’ve called me Em,” she points out.
Yes. I just realized that myself. It felt too casual saying it before, like it was like old times or something. Using her full name somehow gave me distance between Emmerson and Em. I don’t know how I justified that in my head, but it made sense at the time.
I watch her go and say nothing. I have run out of anything constructive at this point. The waiter comes over to clear the plates. I’ve at least managed to eat the majority of my meal, though Emmerson did better than me.
While she’s gone, I try to bring things back to a normal level, like where they started at, but it’s a little hard to do, given all that I now know.
It goes without saying that I need to talk to my mom.
