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“Thank you for making the effort to come see me.”
I smile.
“You’re here another couple of weeks?” he asks, as I unlock my car.
“Yeah, two more weeks.”
He nods. “All right, well, let’s see what happens.”
My heart falters a little bit. I’ve still no clue if he’s seeing anyone, though I really don’t think he is. He would have mentioned that right when we were talking about me and Doug. I know it must be weird for him knowing I ended up living with the guy that Taylor always said had a crush on me through school and college.
I definitely regret not having this conversation sooner.
“Goodnight, Taylor.”
“Goodnight, Em.”
I slide into the car, and he closes the door as I start it up. He taps on the roof as I pull out of the lot and watches me drive away.
I don’t know what to make of tonight. My heart is in my mouth.
I am only a block away when I burst into tears.
It’s a mixture of everything. Sadness. Happiness. Regret. Pain. Nostalgia.
It’s too many things rolled into one.
There’s also the fact I know I’m still in love with him.
Every fiber of my being is on fire around him, even when we’re having hard conversations.
My heart hums. My body aches. My soul yearns.
Oh God. I don’t know what the hell I’m going to do.
I want him.
Maybe more than I ever wanted him before.
* * *
I’m mid-way home when mom calls me on my cell. It’s just after 11:00 p.m.
“Mom, hi.” I put her on speaker.
“Emmerson, honey…” she trails off, and my heart suddenly sinks. There’s something wrong in her voice… something very wrong.
“Mom! Mom, what’s wrong?”
“It’s your Dad,” she says. She’s sniffing like she’s been crying.
My hands are gripping the steering wheel as I take in what she’s about to say next.
“Is he okay? What’s going on?”
“We’re at the hospital… he collapsed… but he’s okay,” she quickly adds.
I breathe a sigh of relief, though I can’t hide I’m panicking. “I’ll come there now. Are you at Seattle General?”
