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“Yeah, apparently so. It’s going to be grueling, even if we had a better play record, they were on fire against the Kings.”
We play games one, two, five, and seven at home. Three, four, and six will be played in Vegas. That’s if it gets to the full seven games, of course, with only the first four guaranteed. So it’s more traveling over the next couple of weeks, and that means I have to get my head together and be focused entirely on the games.
I need to clear up all these loose ends and get my head straight.
“It would be great to put it away early,” Dad says to me, as he sips on his beer.
“Tell me about it.”
We could spend hours talking about the game, as it’s something dad has always been genuinely interested in. And I know despite our differences, he is proud of me.
“How’s your Mother?” he asks.
I’ve no idea if he knows about her health situation. I doubt it, and while I don’t want to speak out of turn, I want him to know things may not be on the up and up.
“She’s doing okay, seeing a specialist about those headaches of hers.”
“Nothing serious, I hope?”
I shrug. “She doesn’t know yet. The doc was saying it could be something serious. She has to have tests later this week.”
“Keep me posted,” he says. “Despite what you might think, I do still care about her.”
I glance over at him, his statement surprising me. “You know, I recently learned some things that made me question things with Mom. I know things were tough growing up, and I didn’t make it easy on you.”
“Your Mom was a tough woman.” He sighs. “It wasn’t always easy.”
“I think she would agree with you, especially lately. She seems to be reflecting on things like she never has before.” I don’t want to rehash the argument we just had.
“I wanted to be a part of your life,” he tells me, not taking his eyes off me.
I feel my throat dry up instantaneously. This is a hard topic for me.
“Your Mother never made that part easy, especially after everything…”
“Yeah, she told me she never made things easy for you, that she was hard and unloving?”
He sighs, running a hand through his hair. “She was extremely hard, Taylor. It made it almost impossible to be in a marriage. She was so focused on her career that there was never enough time for me and her.”
“That’s why you strayed?” I ask him. “She told me eventually,” I add.
He takes a deep breath, pausing for a moment. “It was never as black and white as that, and yes, I did make a mistake. A onetime mistake, and it cost me everything,” he says. “I regret it, and the relationship I lost with you. I tried over the years.”
I take a swig of my beer. “I know you did.”
He seems surprised by my answer.
“I know things aren’t always as black and white,” I tell him. “Mom can be very difficult, I agree with you there.”
“It’s no excuse for what I did. But I never stopped loving you, Taylor. The custody arrangements were very much in favor of your Mother, and because of what I did and had put her through, I didn’t fight it.”
“I’m sorry she didn’t allow you to see me often.” And looking at him now, I see in his eyes this still hurts him. All the years I made it even more difficult for him by refusing to see him.
“I’m sorry too.”
“Every game.” I sigh.
He raises his eyebrow.
