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“My warrior.” She grinned. “Saved from the bellboy.”
A scoff escaped my lips, but then an amused grin replaced it. If that was the only thing I needed to save her from, this would be an easy job.
“I need to get dressed.” I brushed past her before she could stop me. The only one she needed saving from wasme. I was too fucking close to losing it with her. Too tempted by her innocent flirting. She was off limits. Not only because of who she was. Her father. Her age. Her intoxicating blue eyes…
No, it was also me. What she did to me was nothing I wanted to go through again. And if I didn’t keep my distance now while I still had the chance, it would be too late.
I fell asleep despite trying not to. After I took my medicine, everything in me slowed down. The relief was tinged by disappointment. What I felt with Marc was so far from what I thought my life was going to be like. He broke through the mental fog and the apathy. With him, I wanted to do everything I never got the chance to. Every time I was near him, warmth replaced the cold. My body hummed with energy and pulsated in places I never knew had a pulse. It was both terrifying and electrifying. With Marc, I felt alive for the first time in my life. I didn’t want to lose that feeling. Even if it’d kill me.
When I opened my eyes, it was morning. Bleak rays of sun filtered through the blinds, and somewhere outside, children were playing. Their shrieks and carefree laughter made me wish to go back to sleep. There was nothing more saddening than kids enjoying their life. I envied them, sometimes so much so that I couldn’t stand the sound of them. They had everything I never had. What I’d never have.
Forcing myself to sit, I scanned the room and found Marc in the chair beside the bed. Head leaned back against the wall, eyes closed.
“Hey,” I began, making him jerk upright in alarm. His eyes darted across the room, blinking at the sun, before landing on me, and he visibly relaxed.
“Oh no,” I groaned, realizing what this meant. If I ever felt selfish before, this was tenfold worse. I never planned to sleep that long, especially not taking up the whole bed, leaving him balancing on a wooden chair. “You didn’t sleep at all?” I scooted over, giving enough space for him to fit next to me.
A raised eyebrow was all I got in return. I gulped as the memories of last night came back in full force. In the light of the day, the whole thing felt surreal. What possessed me to try to seduce him? Who did I think I was? My eyes traveled to the empty space next to me, and I cringed inwardly. Here I was, doing it again. But I didn’t mean to. Not this time. I just wanted him to get some rest. No ulterior motives. Really.
Shame battled with the disappointment inside, and the whole spectrum of emotions made my mood drop further. What the hell was wrong with me? I had no right to feel disappointed by his rejection. I was no one to him. He was no one to me. Just another guy paid by my father to babysit me.
Babysit.
The word made my throat tighten.
Was that all I was to him? A stupid kid who didn’t know what she wanted? It wasn’t true. I did know. Even if it was wrong on so many levels—I had never been surer. I wantedhim. I shouldn’t, but my whole body craved his touch.
Even sitting next to him now, every cell of my being reached out to him. I had to sit on my hands to avoid acting on the need. It wasn’t normal.Iwasn’t normal. Even if he did want me in that way, what did I have to offer him? Absolutely nothing but tragedy and loss, and it seemed he packed a truckload of that somewhere in there. He didn’t need me making it worse. We couldn’t be together. Not now. Not ever.
“We have to go.” He stood, snapping me out of my session of self-pity. My eyes darted to him, following his every move as he shoved the dresser away from the door and unlocked it.
He gestured for me to come, and I blinked at him in surprise. Just like that? I was barely awake, and he wanted me to run to the car and go. “I—I need to go to the bathroom,” I mumbled. “What’s the rush?”
He let out a deep growl, slammed the door, and locked it. “Make it quick.”
I nodded, holding back the tears as I shuffled to the bathroom and closed the door behind me.
After peeing, washing my face, popping a new set of pills, I was physically ready to go. Mentally, not so much. My feelings were all over the place since last night. What would being cramped up in a car for another long day do to me?
“Kaylie!”
“I’m coming.” Taking a deep breath, I pushed the door open and joined him at the door.
We made it to the car and away from the motel with no drama. After stopping at the McDonald's drive-through, we were ready to face another shift in the car, and I dreaded the silence more than a root canal.
An hour down a straight forest road made me restless. Neither of us said a word, and I started to grow desperate. I kept my eyes on the passing greenery, letting the strobing sunlight flickering between the trees hypnotize me.
The need to know what he was thinking bubbled within me. But how could I ask?Whatcould I ask? There was so much I wanted to know. What happened to him? Who was Julie? Did she have something to do with the man he said he killed?
His phone rang, automatically transferring the signal to the car, tearing me from my musings with the sudden sharp noise. He pressed a few buttons on the wheel and spoke into the air. “Johnny?” He waited for the man to speak, but when he was greeted with only silence, his face hardened, and he snapped, “The fuck did you do this time?”
“Fuck you, Marc,” Johnny hissed, and before either of them spoke again, I piped in.
“Something’s wrong, even I can tell.” I didn’t know the man more than what I saw on TV, but there was something in his voice. Sadness. Pain. I knew it too well not to recognize it in anyone.
Marc shot me a quick look, then turned his gaze back to the road. “Speak to me.”
“It’s Bree. She’s—she’s gone.”
