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“No,” she whimpered. “Marc.” She reached out, straining against the belt. Her hand landed on my arm, her eyes begging me with as much need as she must have seen in mine. I fell back against the seat, pressing my head back, and forced my eyes shut.
“I can’t,” I gritted out.
Fucking coward.
“Why?” she challenged. “Because I’m too young? Because I’m your client?” She paused, and the next words were barely a whisperer, “Because I’m dying?”
I clenched my jaw to the breaking point. It was all of it. And none. I didn’t fucking care that she was over ten years younger. Not anymore. Despite her mere twenty-three, she was more mature than most of the women I was surrounded with. Her father’s words to not touch her meant nothing. Not now.
“I know you want me. You can’t hide it.”
A harsh sound escaped my throat. She was right about that; I couldn’t fucking hide my need for her. It killed me, urged me to throw her into the backseat and take her right there. Her gaze burned through my clothing, making my cock harder from the mere feel of those eyes on it. She wasn’t fucking blind. Of course, she knew. The goddamn trousers did nothing to hide from her. Neither did the quick rise and fall of my chest as I fought to steady my breathing.
“So why?” she raised her voice, letting her frustration flow free. “Why,Marc?”
Something in me broke, the truth surfacing like an erupted volcano. “Because I can’t lose you too!” My eyes snapped open, locking on her.
She flinched from the sudden intensity, and I cursed my fucking temper.
She blinked, staring at me with unexpected sympathy on her face.
I didn’t understand what I let slip until she whispered, “You lost her, didn’t you? Your girlfriend?”
It was no point denying it now, but I refused to talk about it. A curt nod was all she got.
Kaylie sat back against the seat, sighing in defeat. “I’m sorry,” she whispered after a long silence. “I didn’t mean to push you, I didn’t know…”
“Forget it,” I snapped. “I’m over it.”
She looked at me, searching my face for the truth and I looked away. It was never supposed to go down like this. I didn’t lie, I was over Julie. But the pain never went away. It was there as a constant reminder to never let myself be vulnerable again. To never fall for another woman. I did it and look where it got me? All I had left was bitterness and hatred for what took her from me. I never wanted to feel again. The numbness became my friend. A comfort. A relief. It was that and the guys who got me through the worst time of my life, even though I never told a soul the reason behind the mood swings and the incurable anger. I never wanted the pity. The fucking looks and the walking on glass.
“Marc,” she murmured. “You’re hurting, you don’t have to—”
Seeing how Kaylie looked at me now was everything I hated. “You don’t know me,” I snapped, hoping the anger would take the edge of the fresh pain she brought back. It was no longer about losing Julie; it was about losingher. And that was nothing I could hide from as long as she was right here.
“I know you’re—”
I cut her off before she could say more. “I want you gone.” The words came out harsher than intended, but it was too late to take it back. Too late to undo the hurt I caused. It shone in her eyes as she blinked at me.
She nodded, crossing her arms over her chest, and her soft features hardened. “Then shut up and drive,” she snapped. “Get this over with.”
“I can’t wait,” I snarled on autopilot. Then I groaned.
This wasn’t Johnny. Everything I said to him washed right off. He was like a fucking goose. But Kaylie? Shooting her a side-way glance, the regret slammed into me with a force enough to make me choke.
She looked out the window to hide her face from me, but the slight tremble of her chin gave her away. She was upset, and she had every right to be.
*
We rode the last couple of hours in unbearable silence. She didn’t look at me once, and despite my best effort to ignore her, I found my gaze jumping between the thick forest outside, and to her.
When the GPS informed me we were nearing the dreaded city, I had to fight the urge to do a U-turn and take off with her. Tokeepher. How was I supposed to hand her off to a man and walk away like she was some damn package delivered? She was so much more than a job—and I couldn’t deny it. Not anymore.
Bold letters on a white board next to the road made me grit my teeth a bit harder.
Entering Black River.
Why did that feel like a goddamn threat? As if the city name itself wasn’t creepy, a road sign pointing towardBlack River Penitentiaryup north only increased the ominous feeling inside. I threw Kaylie a look, catching her gaze before I quickly looked away. She looked just as worried as I felt, the unease written all over her pretty face. She picked at her nail polish, trying to keep busy, but it was clear she was not happy about what was to come. Neither was I.
