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I lifted my eyes and locked them on Johnny. “Get rid of her.”
Marc’s cold words echoed in my head as I stopped outside the door. I gripped the porch wrap, digging my nails into the wood while fighting the sting behind my eyes. Light rain glistened in the blue light from the neon sign posted by the road. I stayed under the roofed porch, wishing I could disappear into the fog. But I had nowhere to go. I couldn’t go home. My father would send me right back to Mr. X and Alex. That was if they wouldn’t find me first.
I don’t want you here…
The tears I held back fell at last, rolling down my cheeks and blurring my vision. He didn’t want me. What part of it didn’t I understand? It wasn’t the first time he told me, yet I kept gravitating back to him.
He owed me nothing. He probably blamed me for everything he had to go through. And how could he not? If it wasn’t for me, he’d never even be here. He would have never been injured and tortured with held back treatment and pain relief, for weeks. This was on me. I had no right to him after what I put him through. No right to force him to even look at me.
I was nothing but a reminder of pain and misery. He didn’t need that. Most of all, he didn’t need me around as a constant threat. If we were together, we doubled the chances of being found.
He was better off without me, yet it was so hard to leave. To not think of him. To let go. The short time together stayed with me, lived inside my heart. He was with me; with everything I was. My hope. My everything.
But he didn’t wantme.
I threw the door to his room a long look, then turned around, and stepped out into the rain.
“Kaylie!” Johnny’s voice stopped me, and I stood, back turned to him, and waited. Rain drops landed on my bare arms, exploding in tiny splashes that spread over my skin. My gaze dropped to the ground, focusing on the splashes there and everything around slowed down until it was just me and the rain.
“Don’t leave,” Johnny’s voice penetrated the bubble of isolation, and I slowly turned to look at him. If my heart wasn’t heavy with sorrow, and my mind too exhausted to think clear, I would have reveled in a moment like this. Being cooped up at home with nothing to do, I watched a lot of TV. Even though I wasn’t a hard-core fan, I couldn’t deny the man’s gorgeous looks. Johnny Grey was every girl’s dream and seeing him in person made me understand why. But despite his drop-dead features and deep dark eyes locked on me, I didn’t feel a thing. Not how I felt around Marc.
“He doesn’t want me,” I said, trying not to choke on my words. The last thing I needed was to break down in front of a freaking movie star. If I had to leave, I’d do it with dignity. The little of it I had left.
Johnny sighed, gesturing for me to get out of the rain. My feet were heavy as I dragged them over the dark ground back to the porch. Glancing up at him, I waited for him to break the silence. It never happened, and as we stood there, side by side, listening to the rain I tried to prepare.
“I’ll go,” I said at last. It was the only thing I had left to do. “It was a mistake coming here.” He looked at me and I forced myself to go on. “I thought he—” my voice broke, and I looked away. “I’m making it harder for him.”
“Where do you want to go?” Johnny asked, and a sudden sob slipped past my lips. I slapped a hand to my mouth, choking back another.
“Fucking—” He cut himself off, muttering curses under his breath and I wanted to disappear through the wooden floor.
“I’m sorry,” I gasped. “You must think I’m an idiot.”
It took a long time for him to speak, and when he did, he surprised me. “I think you’re fucking amazing.”
My head whipped around, eyes widening to stare at him.
He flashed me a smile that somehow had the missing effect I expected around a man like him. Heat rushed to my cheeks, and I quickly averted my gaze. He continued, abruptly quenching that little spark of giddy nervousness he evoked by being…well, him. “You’re thinking of him despite—”
I looked back at him in time to see him shake his head and sigh. “What’s wrong with you?”
I blinked at him, not understanding.
“Marc told me you’re sick… if there’s anything I can do to—” he cut himself off, frowning at my startled expression. “What?”
“That’s why he’s pushing me away?” I breathed. “Is it?”
Johnny’s mouth worked, but no words came. He blinked, taken aback by my sudden force, but finally nodded. “I guess.”
“Oh my God,” I whispered to myself, but he heard, grabbing me by the arm as I turned toward the door.
“The fuck are you doing?”
“He has to know!” I breathed. “I forgot to mention it, I—” I swallowed, forcing myself to calm down while staring up at Johnny. “I’m not sick. I’m not dying!”
The confusion on his handsome face grew. His lips forming a littleOof unspoken question and I couldn’t help but grin despite the pain still burning within. “It was all a lie.”
“What was?”
