Page 21 of Cruel Hate

Again, I looked around for Shane, but he seemed to have disappeared. He must have slipped out after the speech. I showered, changed, and headed out to meet with Grandad, who was right where I’d left him. His steely eyes met mine, and I cast one last glance down the tunnel for my brother.

“Shane can’t make it. He said he had other plans. I’ll catch up with him later.” Grandad answered my silent question. “It’s just you and me, son.”

Really, Shane? Why is he blowing off the dinner?Sooner or later, I would find out what was going on with him. I couldn’t believe it was all about Tracey, especially since I’d talked to Riley, who said she'd seen Tracey with Dominick recently.

The distance between my twin and me made me feel off, cranky, like part of me was missing. I hated it. But I knew Shane, and he had to work through whatever was eating at him until we could fix the rift between us. I just hoped it happened quickly.

Ten minutes later, I settled into a center table in the dimly lit steakhouse, complete with tablecloths and waitstaff dressed in black vests and white button-down shirts with bow ties, that Granddad liked. He always expected the best and loved to be the center of attention while getting it. Such grandstanding was “a throwback to his heyday,” as he liked to jokingly call his youth.

I would have been fine grabbing a burger at the diner off campus, where Aspen worked. And in light of that little fact, the steakhouse was a better idea.

After we placed our orders, he leaned back in his chair. If it had been allowed, I would have expected him to pull out one of his favored cigars. Our drinks arrived, and Grandad launched into a big speech about his days at Thane, which I often suspected was how he deflected the pain of not having Nona in his life.

“There is no greater time than playing football at Thane.”

“Except with Nona.” His face fell, and I instantly regretted my careless words. I remembered how full of life our grandmother had been. She’d been taken from us too early, and her death had devastated Mom. Grandad—and I sometimes questioned whether he cared about anyone more than her—had seemed lost since Nona died. He’d thrown himself into work, and his already successful company had flourished.

Our dinner arrived, and he waited to speak until the waiter was gone. A gleam entered his eyes, and I braced myself for a lengthy and emotional response that I wasn’t sure I wanted to hear.

“Nona was the best thing that ever happened to me.” Grandad’s eyes misted, and I leaned forward. “When she died, I was… lost.”

“I remember. I miss her too.” But that wasn’t what I wanted to understand. We were in forbidden territory. Their love had been all-consuming and deep, even with their strong personalities conflicting. From what I remembered as a young kid, they always found a way to show each other love. “Why weren’t Cole and Damon around? They’re your grandchildren too.”

He looked up and to the left. “Our daughter, your aunt Linda, didn’t have an easy life. She struggled, and we did what we thought was right then. Lucas Savage wasn’t our choice for her. He didn’t love her the way she would’ve needed.”

“What do you mean, ‘the way she needed’?” She’d struggled with depression. It was no secret. I’d been over at the house often enough to watch our cousins try to help her and recalled days where we never saw her because she was in bed, usually with a nurse present if Uncle Lucas was away on business.

“Linda fell into a bad crowd in high school, and we did everything we could to stop the influence of the other kids, but they left their mark. Our interventions only pushed her further away. We were devastated and did what we could to bridge the gap. Part of that was giving her more freedom when she went to college.”

“What happened with her friends in high school?” This was new information that I didn’t think even my cousins were aware of.

“Drugs were a part of it. Involving her in parties and situations where her confidence started to slip. But she was obsessed with one of the guys in the group, and nothing we could do helped to get her away from them. We tried everything we could think of. It nearly killed her mom. So we stepped back when it was time for college. It was what Linda wanted, and it helped heal the relationship between mother and daughter, which was all that mattered to me then.” Grandad’s hand shook as he reached for his water.

“But not you?”

“No. We were never able to recover. Then when she fell for Lucas Savage, we were concerned. It was the same obsessive behavior on her part, but at least there were no drugs that we could tell. Lucas was slated to go to the draft when Linda told us she was pregnant. We tried to get her to move home and set him free. She wouldn’t. And because I pushed, she cut off all ties with us, not allowing us to have a relationship with our grandchildren.”

“What about now? Why can’t you try to mend things with Cole and Damon? It’s not too late.” It had always bothered Shane and me. Of course, we knew there was a rift and that they weren’t supposed to have anything to do with Grandad. We hadn’t pushed. They had their hands full with their mom and the fights between their parents at home.

Grandad ran his hand over his face as stark pain brightened the blue in his eyes. “Lucas agreed with Linda to keep the peace and felt her decision should hold even when she passed.”

Fuck. What a mess. But it wasn’t my problem. Mom would have intervened if she could. “I didn’t know about Uncle Lucas’s shot at the NFL. He gave it up because of Aunt Linda?”

“Yes. She wouldn’t have been able to handle him traveling or being the wife of a professional athlete. Lucas recognized it, and he put his unborn child before his dreams.” He fell silent as the waiter approached to refill our water glasses. “That’s why I’m so glad you’re following your dreams. You have such talent, Phoenix. And you’re doing it all on your own, not taking advantage of former paths forged by family.”

“Thanks.” I relaxed in my seat. What he’d told me explained so much. He always helped with anything related to football and encouraged us to follow our individual paths. It’d been easy for us because we wanted nothing to do with our dad. Dropping his name had never been an option. “At least you’ve got Mom and us.”

“I’m fortunate to be a part of your lives. I would’ve done more if Cecelia had let me, but she’s always been stubborn.” Our food arrived, and we tucked into our steaks. “She was determined to make her way through nursing school and make it as an RN. It’s an admirable trait of hers, and I couldn’t be prouder. But she works too hard. I wish she’d let Nona and me help with some of the bills, aside from sports fees for you two.”

“If it helps any, Mom loves what she does. I don’t think she thinks of working that hard as a chore. She thrives at the hospital.” It still bothered Shane and me, too, that she worked so much. I would make sure she didn’t want for anything when I got an NFL contract.

“And I know how much you love what you plan to do. Keep that in mind when you’re dating. If you can wait to get into a serious relationship, all the better.”

I didn’t share about Aspen. He would be worried, and that wasn’t what I wanted for him. “Nothing is going to take my eye off my goals.”

“Good. You know I want the best for you.”

I nodded. Even though he could be heavy-handed sometimes, he meant well.

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