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“I am just living vicariously through you, bestie. My own love life is coming second to motherhood right now.”
“Aw, I know this is a big adjustment for you, but motherhood suits you, and you’re an awesome mom. You and Mark will find your groove.”
“I know we will and I’m cherishing every second of baby Stella. She’s already growing up so fast, it’s like she changes every day.”
“I can’t wait to see her when I get back from tour,” I say.
“I feel like that will be an eternity for me. I was just getting used to having you back.”
“I’ll be back before you know it.” Saying that aloud actually makes me pretty sad. If I’m back home with Gemma, then I’m not going to be with Jax. Am I prepared to handle that? I haven’t really thought beyond this tour. Everything is happening in a whirlwind.
“I’m so glad we got caught up, but I have to get some sleep before Stella wakes me up in a few hours. Update me tomorrow, Okay? Don’t worry. You got this.”
I hang up with Gemma and conclude that our conversation confirmed two things. One: I need to fess up to Marisol tomorrow. Two: I am falling for Jax and my heart might get broken.
* * *
Just as I get nestled under the covers, there’s a knock at my door. I open it expecting to see Jax, but it’s Ken, standing in a drizzle of rain.
“Hi dear, sorry to bother you. Just wanted to let you know that Jax and Harry are still hanging inside the venue with some folks, so we won’t be hitting the road just yet.”
That explains why Jax hasn’t snuck over to my bus. I mean, he said he would, so I hoped that would be true.
“Thanks, Ken. Be careful out there tonight.”
“Always am, my dear.”
I’m in the midst of closing the door when I see Jax walking out to his bus. “Cailin!” Jax waves to me as raindrops lightly land on his face. Harry traps Ken in conversation.
“Hey there,” I say very formally to Jax in case anyone is watching.
“Sorry, things ran late inside. I wanted to see you, but I know we have to hit the road to make the next show on time.”
“It’s totally okay. I think I know what I have to do,” I say.
“Actually, so do I,” Jax says. “But I don’t want to rush talking about it. I’m going to go back on my bus and call you in a little bit, okay?”
“Okay.” My apprehensiveness is front and center.
“It’s going to be okay, don’t worry.” The way Jax looks at me assures me it will be. “And Cailin, before I go, I want you to know something.”
“What’s that?”
“You look even hotter in those little shorts and T-shirt than you did tonight in that dress. And I didn’t think that was possible.”
“Stop it.” I playfully push him away.
“Just sayin’. I’ll call you soon!” Jax runs off to his bus and nods to Ken and Harry.
Those four words hold significant power. Jax is saying that he’s not going to settle for natural encounters with me. He’s intentionally intertwining us and I have become someone he wants in his inner circle. Someone important enough to surpass text messages and get promoted to phone calls. This is now the story of how a 29-year-old boy band fan’s teenage dream comes true when she begins working for her favorite member, and although she tries with all her might to remain professional, she ultimately risks it all for love.
* * *
True to his word, Jax doesn’t waste any time in dialing my number once we’re all on our buses and back on the road. I’m still getting used to being alone on a big bus so I really welcome the company, even if it’s just the sound of his voice vibrating in my ear.
“Tonight was unbelievable,” I tell Jax. “How do you feel?”
“Pretty incredible. And relieved. I was really nervous, but once I got back out there, I got right back in the mode.”
