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“Are you okay?” Jax asks. The expression on my face must have given me away.
I shake it off and try to focus on just savoring the present. “Yeah, I’m fine. I was just getting lost in thought. Nothing important. I think this will be a positive step forward for you and that makes me happy. Yes, it’s going to change my life, but I hope for the better. And you know, once we go public, it makes it really hard for you to break up with me because then everyone will say we faked it for the press.”
Jax puts his phone in his pocket and grabs my hands in his. His oceanic eyes splash into mine as he says, “Cailin, we haven’t known each other for very long, but I know how you make me feel. And I know that feeling is unlike anything I have felt before. I’m falling in love with you.”
I’m stunned. My body feels like it’s going into shock—he has a way of doing this to me, apparently—but I can feel Jax grip my hands in his so I know I’m conscious. His hands are sweaty. He’s nervous. I am too. I know exactly what he’s describing because I feel the same way. I pull my hands away from his and put one hand on each of his cheeks, matching his gaze. I love that I can just touch his face whenever I want.
“I’m falling in love with you, too,” I tell Jax. “And if this was a reality TV show, I would give you an end of date rose. But this is my real life and all I can give you is my heart and trust that you will never break it.”
“I promise you this, I will never do something to intentionally break your heart or make your beautiful eyes cry.”
Jax seals his promise with our lips and I give myself to him completely in that moment. I can feel my soul seep out of my body, meet his in the space between us, and form one being. This is more than just a kiss. In this moment, we’re committing ourselves to each other. I’m giving him all that I am and praying that this relationship becomes everything I hope it will.
I just told Jax Slater that I’m falling in love with him. But wait, back up. Jax Slater just said he’s falling in love withme. I can see the headlines.Opposites Attract: Bad Boy Pop Star Falls for Girl Next Door.Heck, I’ll be the one pitching this story, let’s be honest.
If I had to go through an unhappy marriage and years of jobs I hate to end up here, then it was all worth it. Every day I worked late and came home exhausted. Every night I cried myself to sleep because I was sleeping next to a man who lost interest in my body. The humiliation of getting fired. The fear of the future when I moved back home. All the years of feeling like I was meant for more, but just not sure how to get there, were all worth it. I manifested a better life and it came true beyond my wildest dreams.
I hear a biker ride past us and remember we’re in a very public place. When I’m with Jax, I feel like the rest of the world stops. But I’m going to have to stay aware of the fact that I’m in a very public relationship now and all eyes are going to be on both of us. Right now, this small-town is practice. This is just a warm-up for what’s to come after I reveal my identity to the press. It’s going to get real, very quickly. We’re fortunate that no one is hiding in a bush snapping our photo.
“We should get going back to the buses,” Jax says. He pulls his phone from his pocket and checks the time. “We’re going to have to hit the road soon.”
“I’m glad we got some time alone to really talk.” My hand gravitates to his on its own.
“I’m glad you finally agreed to be my girlfriend.”
“You know, you basically had me from the moment you said ‘hello’ to me on video chat,” I say.
“All I had to do was say your name? You mean I didn’t have to send a car to the airport to pick you up, or meet you in secret to prove that I wanted you?”
“I love that you did all that. No one has ever gone so out of their way to make me feel so special before.” The sun’s rays are strengthening and the heat is starting to hit. I put on my sunglasses, happy I opted for my tortoise-shell frames today.
“Get used to it. You ain’t seen nothing yet.” Jax slides his black aviator frames over his nose. I didn’t think he could look any sexier, but he has proved me wrong.
“You know you don’t have to do anything outlandish to make me happy, right? I’m content just spending time with you.”
“That’s why you’re so amazing. And exactly why I am going to spoil you. And you’re going to let me because it makes me happy.”
“I can’t argue with that,” I say. It’s about time I have a man who wants to treat me like a queen. I’ve spent too long being the breadwinner, carrying the load of the relationship for someone who didn’t pull their weight or acknowledge my worth. This is going to be different and I can’t wait. Sunglasses or not, nothing is going to dim my light moving forward.
Trash the Dress Online Chat
Rory:I’m worried my son is going to resent me for divorcing his father.
Alexandra:I worry all the time that the twins will blame me for cheating and ending the marriage.
31
CAILIN MCCALL SEES JAX SLATER WHEN THE LIGHTS GO OUT
JAX
Love suddenly has a new meaning.Up until recently, love has meant heartbreak and yearning for something I couldn’t have. Love was an obsession that fans had for me. But after this morning with Cailin, I know what falling in love means. I want to know what makes her happy and sad. I want to know how fast her heart beats when she’s nervous or excited. I want to watch her nervously pick at a muffin during breakfast. I even want to know what makes her mad. Because no matter what, I want to be there for every moment and create new ones with Cailin.
It might have been risky to say it aloud, but it just felt right to tell Cailin I am falling in love with her. I’m not going to play it cool because I only have a few weeks on tour with her, and I want to ensure that when this is over, she’s going to still be a part of my life. And I think she feels the same way. I’m one step closer to changing public perception, but yet, the only thing that I care about is what Cailin thinks about me.
I’ve never had a girl give me a run for my money. Women are usually falling at my feet, but not Cailin. She really made me work to get her to agree to be my girlfriend. I know a big part of that is because she’s worried about her job and her reputation. So I have to do my best to make sure that in all my interviews moving forward, I stress that she’s a professional. I’ll protect her however I can. I don’t want Cailin to have to deal with the dark side of the media or to know how the words they print can have you questioning your own character.
By the time we get back to the tour buses, everyone is outside waiting for roll call so we can hit the road. When they see us, my crew begins to clap and cheer. They must have seen the social media post.
