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“I knew it,” Jayce says.
“I didn’t say anything!” Hayley yells to Cailin. She gives her two thumbs up. I must admit, the approval feels nice.
“You knew?” Jayce says to Hayley.
“Girl code,” Hayley says.
“What about girlfriend code?” Jayce says.
“Sisters before misters,” Hayley says.
“I really like her,” Cailin whispers to me. It must be near 98 degrees outside now, but that’s not why she glistens.
Harry walks over and pats me on the back. “I’m thrilled. Marisol has filled me in on everything. It’s great to see you so happy.”
Chris walks out from the bus. “What’s all the commotion?”
“Jax and Cailin are dating,” Hayley says.
“No way. Nice, man,” Chris says. He nods at me. “I guess we’ll have to break it to Manny that Cailin is off the market.”
I’m surprised to hear that Manny, the tour bass player, was ever interested in Cailin. He has barely spoken two words to her as far as I have seen. And I never take my eyes off her.
“I told you I had to make it official before someone on the crew tried to get with you.” I speak softly into her ear and brush her hair away.
“As if he stood a chance.” My neck tingles when Cailin whispers back.
“Okay you, two! Save the sexy talk for your bus,” Hayley says.
Some of the guys pull me aside in conversation and I see Cailin and Hayley gravitate towards each other. I haven’t felt this happy in a while. I hope the next time we are all celebrating together it’s because one of my new songs tops the charts. It’s still in the back of my mind that the pressure is on and I need to prove myself, not only in love, but also in music.
* * *
CAILIN
“I heard about the accident,” Hayley says when she pulls me aside. “That is freaking scary as hell.”
“It was terrifying. Thankfully Ken is okay and Jax pulled up after.”
Hayley puts her hand across her heart. “In all my years on tour, the worst we have ever encountered is a broken-down tire. I did hear about something similar happening to that band of three brothers from Tulsa who sing that song about, um, bopping or something, though. Anyway, it really made me think about life. And if something ever happened to me, do I want to go out as a merch girl? Or do I want something more for myself? To get my photography business going?”
I understand where Hayley is coming from. Shaking my head, I tell her, “Sometimes it takes a traumatic event to find the courage to change your life.”
Hayley nods in agreement. “It has me thinking about a lot. Even dating Jayce. It’s all fun, but I don’t see him settling down. He wants to live on the road forever and drink beer every night. There’s more to life than a party.”
My mouth drops open in a gasp, “Are you thinking of breaking up with him?”
Hayley crinkles her face and scrunches her mouth. “I don’t know. I have a lot to think about, but I hope to have a clear answer about that by the end of this tour. Take today for example, I could have been out with my camera, photographing this amazing place. But instead, Jayce and the guys wanted to hang out in a bar, shooting darts.” Her sighs tell me more.
As we all disperse to our buses, Jax and I find our way back to each other and walk in sync back to our bus. Our little home. I wish we could place a welcome mat outside the door. I’d get one that says, “Home is wherever you are.”
Once inside, I throw my bag down on the table and kick off my shoes. It’s nice to be back to our private sanctuary. I realize that for the first time since we’ve become an official couple, Jax and I are alone on the tour bus. We have hours until our next stop and that leaves plenty of time for us to get better acquainted with each other. That makes me equal parts excited and nervous. Anything can happen. And I want it all.
Jax slowly takes off his shoes and jacket. I can’t help but stare at his toned and tattooed biceps. The only thing that distracts me is watching him neatly place his shoes in a corner, oblivious to the fact that it’s a complete turn on. But back to those arms. I picture my mouth moving along each detailed work of art lining his skin, because now, as his official girlfriend, I can technically use my mouth anywhere I want on Jax. My yearning for him is almost too much to handle. It’s been suppressed far too long. I ache for him.
Jax walks over to me and I know he is thinking the same. “I’ve been waiting to get you all to myself in private.” He runs his hands through my hair. His wide pupils meet mine and hold my gaze as I fall deep into his stare. I want to move my hands to hold his, but my mind has forgotten how to interact with my body. I’m powerless to this feeling that’s radiating between us. Somehow, I’m able to formulate the words I’ve been trying to get out.
“What exactly did you have in mind?” My stomach feels like it’s about to go down a forty foot drop on a roller coaster ride that I was afraid to board, but too scared to miss out on. I know what Jax has on his mind because it’s the same thing that I can’t stop replaying in my own head. We’ve both had enough of the secrecy, the stolen moments, and the conversations about our reputations. In this moment, we are not the pop star and his publicist. We’re two people with a hunger for more of each other who have nothing holding us back.
