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One, dare I say, positive thing that came from this disaster is that I wrote my hit song. The A&R reps love it. I recorded it at a local studio one day before a show. It only took a few takes. The engineer and sound guy were easy to work with and everyone said I brought raw emotion. I want to play it for Cailin and let her know this is my ode to her. She’ll know when she reads the lyrics I attached to the letter.
Tonight’s the last night of the show and I’m really trying to get in a gratitude mindset. I should be proud of myself for all that I’ve accomplished: I embarked on my first solo tour and it sold out everywhere. I moved past my anxiety and started going out in public (thanks to Cailin). I wrote and recorded a song that can be released as a single, and I made my fans really happy.
Despite all that, I’m devastated. I discovered what true love feels like and realized I won’t settle for anything less than Cailin. I need Cailin to know that even if there is a baby on the way, I want her to be part of his or her life.
I can’t wait to be a dad and I thought Cailin and I would start our parenting journey together. It’s not ideal to raise a kid with a woman I don’t love, but I am going to make it work and be the best father possible for this child. I’ll give them everything I never had. I don’t have to be in a relationship with someone to raise a kid with them. I want to say all of this to Cailin. But why would she want to be with a guy who is having a kid with someone else? I can’t say I blame her and I’m not sure what I would do if the situation were reversed. I do know that Cailin has changed my life.
I have a lot to think about, but right now I need to focus because the audience is seated, my opening act is finishing up her set, and I have to take the stage.
Harry enters my dressing room. “Jax, do you need anything?” Harry asks.
“Can you get my girlfriend back?”
“First order of business after this show.” Harry surveys the state of my dressing room, which is as messy as my life. “I know it’s not the best timing, but I think we should still do the end of tour wrap party tonight as we originally planned.”
“I’m really not in the mood to party or deal with the public.”
“What if we do something private with just the crew? Everyone has worked so hard. We’re here in New York, and some east coast label reps want to meet you. It’s good business.”
“I don’t know. Can’t they just come backstage after the show?”
“Jax, I know your head is not in it right now, but my job is to look out for your best interests. We have a lot to be proud of on this tour. And we have to show the label that your personal life won’t impact your work. Not if you want another solo album or more tour dates.”
This is why Harry is my manager. I worked really hard for this and I can’t let the fact that I might have fathered a child during a short-lived fling deter my career goals. The one thing I haven’t done during this entire scandal is actually reach out to Kelly’s friend. I asked Kelly to touch base and feel her out. I need an update. And I need to know why she’s telling the media that her name is Ana, when her name is Chelsea. Probably to protect her own privacy, until she can start to collect child support from me. Once I get an update from Kelly, I can focus on moving forward.
“I’ll do it,” I tell Harry. Then I ask him to give me some time alone because I have something important to handle.
The phone rings five times before Kelly answers. In that time, I envision various outcomes to how this call will play out. I need to know why Chelsea isn’t contacting me directly. Is she going to tell Kelly that she’s involving lawyers to ensure I support the child, or will she want to file for sole custody because my career involves travel? Is that why she went to the media first, instead of me? To start building up public support in case I refuse to cooperate?
“Took you long enough,” I say.
“I just got off the phone with Chelsea. She took a few days to call me back. I figured she was ashamed that she betrayed my friendship by going to the tabloids. But it turns out she was upset with me for setting her up with you because you were dating someone else around that time.”
“That makes no sense. I was only seeing Chelsea.” I’ve never dated two women at once. I’m not that much of a dirtbag. Just being accused of that irks me.
“Right, that’s what I thought. I asked her to explain. Turns out, she read the headlines and was just as shocked as we were. She felt disgusted with herself for sleeping with you when you were allegedly sleeping with another woman.”
“Let me get this straight. She didn’t go to the press? She doesn’t think she’s pregnant?” A wave of relief lifts me up and I feel like I’m riding through the barrel of a maverick. If she’s not pregnant, then this is all a tabloid scandal.
“She’s not pregnant.”
“This changes everything. That means I can be with Cailin,” I say. “She needs to know the truth.”
“Do you want me to reach out to her? She hasn’t blocked me on social. Maybe she’ll listen to me.”
“I appreciate it, but she needs to hear it from me.” I just need a strategy. What would my publicist suggest? I need to think like Cailin.
Trash the Dress Online Chat
Alexandra:Big news. I’ve forgiven myself for cheating. I’m going to start dating.
Tori:Finally!!
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CAILIN MCCALL AND JAX SLATER REUNITE
CAILIN
