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“Yeah?”
“Yeah, like you’re less tense.You’rejust a country boy when you’re home.Iliked seeing you with your brothers, always joking around and making fun of each other.Andit’s obvious how much your dad enjoyed having you home.Ialways wanted a big family like that.”
“Doyou still want a big family like that now?”
“Hopefullyone day, yeah.Whenthis is all over.”Shesmiles hopefully, and it feels like a punch in the fucking gut.
Whenthis is all over.Whenshe’s finally free from me.
Idon’t want to talk about that.Idon’t want to think about it.So,Ichange the subject.
“What’shappening in here?”
“Dinner,” she says with a smile.Ifshe didn’t still have a glisten of sweat lighting up her face, you almost wouldn’t know that she just came on my fingers twenty minutes ago.
“Whydon’t we go out for dinner tonight?Youdon’t always have to cook for me.It’snot your job, baby.”
Asmuch asIlike the look of her half-dressed in my kitchen,Iwant her to know thatIdon’t expect this.Theonly thing she needs to do is be here.Andkeep on fucking me like my life depends on it… becauseI’mbeginning to think it does.
It’sso easy when she’s here.Floatingaround the kitchen cooking or baking up something delicious.Makingme watch some old episode ofRaven’sRavine, reminding me of all the fun timesJonasandIhad making that dumb show.Teachingme what it’s like to have someone home whenIget here.Inmy bed every night.Shejust fits here.Shemakes everything better.Oatsis happier with her here.I’mhappier with her here.
NowIjust need to convince her she’s happier here with us, too.
Shebites her lip in the way that makes me want to shove my dick between her lips.Ifshe actually believed me that every time she bites her damn lip,Ithink about shoving my cock down her throat, she’d slap me.Iknow that for a fact.
“I’drather stay in, if you don’t mind?AndIknow it’s not my job to cook.ButIenjoy cooking.Itrelaxes me.Andyou never seem to complain about whatImake, so…”
“That’sbecause you're a fucking great cook, baby.Ijust don’t want you to feel like you have to.Youcan do whatever you want here.Ornot.”
Justso long as you’re here.
Iwant to say the words, butIdon’t want to scare her away.
“Idon’t.Promise,” she says quietly. “Itwas a really long day at the bakery kitchen, and the thought of going out on top of that.Ijust… can’t.Idon’t have it in me tonight, okay?”
Shesounds defeated.Likegoing out is a battle that she just doesn’t have it in her to suit up for.NowthatIthink about it, every timeIsuggest going out for dinner or going out anywhere, really, she always wants to stay home.Ishould have been paying more attention.
Whenwas the last time we even went out anywhere?
Itcan’t be.No, it is.Thelast time she andIleft this house together was to go to the announcement event.Thatwas over a week ago.
Whatthe hell is going on here?What’sthat condition when you’re afraid of leaving the house?Agoraphobia?DoesSelenahave agoraphobia, andI’mtoo wrapped up in fucking her to notice?Whatthe hell?
She’sbeen going to work at the bakery kitchen and coming home to me every night after work.Butthat’s the only time she leaves the house.Shehasn’t been home.Shehasn’t seen any of her friends.Hell,Istill haven’t even met any of her friends.Istill haven’t spent a night at her place.I’veonly even been there twice.Oncewas just to pick her up, andIdidn’t even go inside.Shit,IsworeIwas going to make more of an effort to get to know her life.Andinstead, allI’vebeen doing is fucking her and eating everything she cooks up for me.
“Areyou sure you don’t want to go out?Wecould go somewhere quiet.Offthe beaten path.”
“Idon’t think anywhere withJacksonWatersis ever really off the beaten path.MaybeinWesternSprings, but definitely not inL.A.”
“Yeah, you might be right about that.Sorry.”Ihate this.Mylife comes with so much privilege.ButIhate thatIcan’t take my girl out for dinner without it being a big deal.
“It’snot your fault.Butcan we stay home?Ihave an idea for dessert.Spoileralert… it’s a blowjob.Howdoes that sound?”
“Ablowjob after a home-cooked meal?Soundsfucking perfect to me.”
Itreally does.I’mgetting too comfortable withSelenabeing here all the time.Usedto her cooking for me.Usedto fucking her every single night, and then some.Gettingway too used to it when we’ve never really talked about what’s happening here.WhenIdon’t know if she’s planning on staying after the contract period ends.Andknowing how muchIneed her to.
“Itdoes to me, too.”Thesmile she gives me is big and bright, and tells me exactly whatIwant to hear.
