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“There’snothing to talk about.Wehung out for a few months, and we were never on the same continent.So, we broke up.Itwas six months ago.”
“Andyou’re not dating anyone new.Youwon’t talk about your family.Yourset stories are years old at this point.You’vegot to give them something.”
“Idon’t want to talk about the elevator.”
“I’mjust warning you he’s going to ask, so be ready to pivot back to one of your go-to anecdotes.Justbe ready.”
“Hey,Val.Didshe ever talk to anyone about it?Givean interview or something?Afterwe got out?”
“No.”Valshakes her head slowly. “Trustme,Iwas worried about that.Ifshe had,I’dknow about it.Ihave a hundred different search engine alerts for your name and the wordelevator.Youdodged a bullet on that one.Theyoffered her money,I’msure.Anda lot for the exclusive story of the woman trapped in an elevator for six hours withJacksonWaters.It’dmake a greatstars, they’re just like uspiece.”Shelooks me over one last time. “Youneed anything before you go?”
“No,I’mall good.Thanksfor everything.”
Valwalks over and kisses both my cheeks. “Okay, just have fun and don’t say anything thatIwouldn’t pre-approve.”
Mylips twitch. “Oh, the thingsI’dlike to say that you wouldn’t pre-approve…”
“Don’tyou turn that charm on me,Jacks!I’veknown you since you were a skinny kid in underwear and cowboy boots.”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah.You’reall talk.”
“I’llmeet you at the studio later.Imight be late.”
“Youdon’t have to come.I’llbe fine.”
“Formy favorite client?I’llbe there.Seeyou later.”Valnods towards the door, and that’s my sign to get the hell out of her office, overlooking theSunsetStrip.
* * *
Idon’t getnervous before talk shows anymore, but that doesn’t meanIlike them.Likewith anything else, the producers can cut and edit the footage however they want to make me look like a jackass.They’realways looking for some clip to go viral, and me putting my foot in my mouth would be a win for the ratings.
That’sless common onTheEddieParsonsShow, but it’s always a risk.Eddie’sa good guy, normal even.I’veknown him for over a decade.Heused to be an actor, but when his work started drying up, he switched to hosting.Nowhe hosts the most popular late night talk show in the country.
I’mhere to promote a movieImade two years ago.Ihad to watch a screener to remember what it was even about.ButIprepped for this likeIdo for everything else.ValandIran questions this morning and picked out some anecdotes from the set to throw in.Someof them made up, some of them not.
“Themovie sounds great, man.ButwhatIreally need to ask you about is the whole elevator thing?”
Ipress my hands over my face. “Thatwas months ago!Everyone’sforgotten about the elevator.”
“Ihave not forgotten about the elevator.Mystaff have not forgotten about the elevator.Andmost importantly, my wife has not forgotten about the elevator.She’sgoing to kill me ifIdon’t ask this.”
“Okay, okay,Iwon’t be a party to premeditated murder, so let me have it.”Imotion towards my face, inviting him to ask the dumb question.
“Jackson, you’ve played a spy, aNavySEAL, a firefighter.Andyou’re telling me you couldn’t get out of an elevator?”
Idon’t want to talk about this.I’msupposed to deflect.Butall the anecdotesValandIprepped are gone.Ican’t think of a single one.
“WhosaysIwanted to?”Ishrug, playing along. “Iwas stuck in there with a pretty girl.”
“Yeah, you were!That’smy boy.”Eddiereaches out to fist bump me, andIplay it up for the cameras, making my hand explode and then blowing air on it to put out the fire.Ifeel like a complete and utter jackass every second of it.
“Nowtell us, just how did things go down in that elevator?Ibet you thought of ways to use the time.AmIright?”
“Afew,”Itell him with a grin. “Youknow me,I’man artist.Iget paid to becreativefor a living.”
“Yeah, you do.”
“IthinkIsaw a picture of the girl with you when the firefighters were rescuing you.Prettyface, huh?”
