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“Youneed to actually go though.Andyou need to go back to the farm soon,”Selenasays with a bite in her voice.
“Iknow, baby.Wewill.”
Shefrowns at me whenIsay that, like she has no intention of going anywhere with me.Sothat’s how the rest of tonight’s going to go,Iguess.
She’squiet while we putJonasin a cab and wait for the valet to pull around with our rentedRangeRover.
WhenIsee her shiver,Ipull her against me.Shepresses her head against my chest whileIrub her arms up and down.
Oncewe’re in the car driving back to the hotel, she stares out the window not talking to me.Oreven looking at me.
“I’mjust going to say this now.BecauseIdon’t know whenI’llhave another chance.You’rean idiot.”
Yeah,Iwas right about how tonight was going to go.AndIhate it. “Nice, baby.AmIan idiot about anything in particular, or just generally?”
“You’rean idiot aboutyou.You’renot happy inL.A.I’mnot saying you’re miserable and crying yourself to sleep every night.Butyou’renothappy.Youneed to spend more time at the farm.Withyour family.GovisitJonason his vineyard.Bea good friend.Bean uncle to his kids.Showup.Peopleare out there loving you and missing you, and you’re sitting alone in your big house inL.A.Anddon’t makeLilycome and see you on sets and be ignored by everyone.Ithurts her feelings.Gosee her inWesternSprings.Didyou see how happy your dad was to have you home?Yourdad’s a silver fox, by the way.Howis no one talking about that?Ohmy god!Andyour brothers miss you.Theylove you so freaking much!Canyou believe thatJamesonwastwelvewhen you moved away.Twelve!Youneed to get your priorities straight,Jackson.Forthem.Butfor you, too.Noone who cares about you gives a shit how much money you’ve made or how many movies you’ve been in.Whenis it going to be enough?Youget one life,Jackson.Andyou’re wasting the hell out of yours.Okay,I’mdone.Idon’t want to talk about this anymore.Isaid whatIneeded to say.Yourfamily loves you too much to say it.Butsomeone had to.”
“Whatthe hell, baby?Youjust dropped like a dozen truth bombs on me.YouthinkI’mnot happy?Youthink my dad’shot?Andwho the fuck was ignoringLilyon set?”
Andmost importantly, what the hell does that mean that my family loves me too much to tell me this.Doesthat mean shedoesn’tlove me?
Theworst part is thatIknow she’s right.Forthe last fifteen years,I’vebarely come home.I’vemissedChristmasesand birthdays.I’vemissed everything.
“Itold youIdon’t want to talk about this anymore.”
“Idon’t fucking care, baby.Starttalking.”
“Ialready said whatIneeded to say.Youshould try it sometime.”
“Whatthe hell does that mean?”
“Itmeans you should just talk about things.It’sbetter to just be open about everything.”
“Selena, if you’ve got something else to say, then just say it.”
“Itold youIsaid whatIneeded to say.”
Andthen she shuts me out for the rest of the drive.Thevalet at our hotel opens her door beforeIcan get to her, but she lets me take her hand as we walk up to our hotel room.
Beingwith her and having her mad at me like this is fucking killing me.Todaydid not go as planned.Iknew she was going to fangirl all overJonas, butIdidn’t think it would bother me like it did.It’sone thing to be jealous of another man touching her, but to be this jealous over her being a fan of my friend is fucking ridiculous.
Andwhat she said in the car.Whatthe hell?Wheredid that come from?Selenais sweet most of the time, unless she’s drunk.Andshe’s not drunk tonight.Ikept track of how many times her wine glass was refilled.SheandJonassplit a bottle, and that was it.
She’sapparently over being pissed at me once we’re back inside our hotel room, but she still feels a million miles away from me.Shepours us both a glass of the rosé thatIhad delivered for her.Andthen she paces back and forth in front of the floor to ceiling windows.Ijust wanted something convenient, so we’re staying at the same hotel whereRaven-Conis being held.It’sthe same generic hotel room asI’vehad in a dozen different countries.Darkdurable carpet, off-white walls, white sheets, granite bathroom.Butit’s the honeymoon suite because that’s the best room the hotel had left.Thetowel swans are enough to give me nightmares.
“Jonasis really so sweet.Ihonestly can’t believe it.Heis such a talented actor.Tobe so sweet and yet be so convincing as a possessive vampire,”Selenasays breathlessly as she paces.
She’sgone from snuggled into me at dinner to telling me off in the car and back to swooning over one of my oldest friends.Ican’t fucking keep up.She’sall over the place tonight, and it has me on edge.
“ShouldIbe concerned about whatIwitnessed today?Areyou going to try to trade me in forJonas?”
chapterseventy-eight
selena
“No, of course not,”Itell him, not explaining more.
Idon’t remind himIwon’t have the chance to trade him in, not thatIever would.Becausethe second the contract is over,Jackson’sgoing to be out of my life.He’llbe on his way toAustraliawithElishaBellor one of those women from the fancy bathroom.AndifEchoParkis a different world fromJackson’splace in theHollywoodhills,Australiais another universe.
