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Dinnerlasted at least three hours.Jonaslet me ask everyRaven’sRavinequestionI’vebeen too embarrassed to askJackson.Andthen they just talked.Theytalked about old times.Theymade fun of each other.Itwas so good to seeJacksonaround another person who loves him.Itnever feels like that inL.A.InL.A., he sees his agent and publicist.Everything’sfor business.
Ididn’t mean to blurt out whatIsaid to him in the car driving back.Butsomeone sure as hell had to.Hisfamily might love him too much to say it.ButIlove him too muchnotto say it.
WhenIstop pacing to sip my wine, he’s staring at me from across the room.Jackson’ssitting at the desk, andI’mpacing back and forth between the windows like both of us are too afraid to go anywhere near the king size bed.
“Howcome you never treated me like you didJonastoday?Youhad me all to yourself for six hours in that elevator.”
Ismile at him.Itfeels like a sad smile, andIwonder if he even notices that. “Itold you,IwasTeamVampireClaude, all the way.AndIkind of had other things on my mind when we were in the elevator, like peeing and possibly dying.Andthen once you pee in front of a guy?Thatkind of progresses the relationship a few thousand percent past big fan.”
“Well, a guy might like to get that kind of attention now and again…” he mutters, not looking at me.
“Thelast thing you need is another adoring fan.Youneed real people in your life.Realones you aren’t paying.”Ifrown asIrealize the truth. “So,Iguess that doesn’t include me, actually.”
“I’mnot paying you.”
“You’rekind of paying me.Two-hundred-and-fifty-thousand dollars.Andwhatever ridiculous amount you spent on the overpriced bakery thatI’mnot keeping.Andthe massive emerald earringsI’mwearing right now.”
Hisjaw clenches tight. “I’mnot paying you.”
“Yes, you are.Andit’s weird.Butthings have been weird between us the whole timeI’veknown you.Wewent from trapped in an elevator to pretending to be in a relationship.That’snot normal,Jackson.”
“Ican’t go back and undo any of it.I’mnot sureI’dwant to, ifIcould.”
“Noone’s asking you to.”Istop pacing. “Thanksfor today.Itwas… amazing.Theperfect…Nevermind.I’mgoing to go have a shower.”
“Youwant me to come in there with you?”
“No, thanks.”
Itake my time in the shower, thinking.I’mtired of this tension withJackson.Thisis our last night together, andIdon’t want to spend it like this.Idon’t want this to end, butIdefinitely don’t want it to end like this.
WhenIcome out of the bathroom with my hair wrapped up in a thick white towel and a fluffy robe wrapped around my body,Jackson’staken up pacing back and forth across the windows whereIleft off.
“Youshould have a hot shower.Youlook stressed.Thewater pressure is chef’s kiss.”Imake the chef’s kiss kissing motion with my hands, pressing my fingers to my lips and then pulling them away, making a smacking sound.
Jacksonactually lookspissed, butIfigure saying that will only start a fight.
“Doyou need anything else from in there beforeIgo in?”
“No,I’mall good.Andthanks.”
Jacksongrunts and stalks off towards the shower.
Aftertaking off my robe,Itake my time rubbing lotion on every inch of my body.Idon’t care thatJacksonmight walk in on me naked any second.Ikind of hope he does.
ButI’mfully moisturized and back in my hotel robe by the time the bathroom door opens again.
WhenJacksonwalks out of the bathroom, with a white hotel towel slung low over his hips and drops of water dripping down his chest,Ican’t take my eyes off him.ButIhave things to do that aren’t just staring at him.Istand up off the king-size bed and pick up the sharpieIstole fromJonas.
“I’mready for you to sign my ass.”
“Baby,I’llgive you whatever you want.ButIdon’t get why you’re doing this.Whatexactly do you think me signing your ass is going to accomplish?”
“Doyou feel guilty or something?”
“No.”
Helooks like he feels guilty.Probablyfor having sex with me.Maybefor making me fall in love with him and throwing me away at midnight.
