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I pull my gun and approach the door with caution.
And then, quite suddenly, it opens.
23
Dream
Iknew Nikolai was mad, but I didn’t expect to have a gun pointed at me when I came back. I just needed to clear my head, but perhaps I didn’t need to do that because a bullet would work just fine.
To my relief, his expression changes when he realizes that it’s me, and he lowers his gun. “Fuck, I’m sorry,” he blurts, tucking his gun into his waistband. “I wasn’t sure who it was.”
I hold myself in a nervous embrace. “I guess I should’ve announced myself, but I wasn’t even sure if you wanted to see me after what I said.”
“You didn’t say anything wrong,” he says, coming toward me and placing his hands on the sides of my shoulders. Their warmth radiates through me, and I sense a genuine apology coming.
But I don’t want him to apologize. Part of me wants a rift between us to grow so that I don’t have to face the reality of falling in love with a Bratva boss. The other part of me is screaming to let him make things right.
“I suppose we still need to talk about this,” I say, trying to avoid getting too comfortable.
He nods. “Yes, but I would like to do it over again, without the anger. That was misplaced, and I’m sorry.”
Dammit! Stop being so perfect!
I clear my throat, trying to sound confident as the walls I quickly built around my heart come toppling down again. “Yeah, that’s a good idea.”
I sit down on the bed and Nikolai occupies the swiveling chair by the desk. His pants ride up his thick thighs, creating a bunching of fabric at his lap, and I’m nearly at a loss for words when I see the exaggerated bulge between his legs.
Concentrate! Don’t lose focus now.
I sigh, which he probably interprets as anger, but it’s really frustration from having to shift my focus away from the spectacle of his manhood. I feel silly being this drawn to it at a time like this, but if he were to bark at me to drop to my knees and suck him off as a form of apology, I’d probably do it.
I press my legs together, pursing my lips as I wait for him to speak. Time oozes by as he rubs his chin and decides where to start.
Finally, he leans forward, clasping his hands together and exhaling through his prominent nose. “We need to hash this out in a way that makes sense for both of us.”
“Right, but unfortunately, I’m not willing to compromise,” I reply, trying to sound firm without being bitchy.
“I understand,” he replies softly.
I recoil at his words. “Wait… you do?”
He nods. “You can thank Jasha for helping me see reason. We just need to make sure we’re not walking into a trap.”
“I thought about that,” I reply, now wanting to sound totally unwilling to see his side of things. “But what other choice do we have if we’re trying to get Eddy back? If they don’t intend to let him go, then it doesn’t matter what we do. I guess it’s just a risk we’ll have to take. Or, sorry, thatI’llhave to take. I’m not forcing you to do something you think will be too dangerous.”
He waves his hand through the air like he’s trying to swat my words away from himself. “Nonsense,” he says, straightening his back. “I’m not letting you meet with them by yourself. I’m going to be with you, but not in view. Perhaps somewhere I can act quickly if things go south. I’m assuming they will.”
“Let’s not assume the worst, please. This is my cousin we’re talking about.”
“I’ve agreed to go with you tomorrow morning, so I would appreciate it if you allow me to prepare for the worst, even if you want to maintain the hope that it won’t come to that,” he says, finally pushing back.
I seem to have found the line he won’t cross, and I’m thankful it’s there. I would feel weird if he just let me do anything I wanted without caring. In this way, I know that he still wants to protect me.
“So, we’re going to do this. I hadn’t texted Diego to confirm the meeting because I wasn’t sure we’d agree to it.”
“I thought you’d do it regardless of what I said.”
I smile. “No, I still value your input. You got me this far, and I don’t want to lose you.”
