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“Me, or just my protection?”
I laugh. “Both.”
He smirks, and his green eyes warming up as he realizes we’re still on the same team. “Good. We’ll do this together. But I won’t let anything happen to you, so if I suspect things aren’t going the way they should, I’m going to come down on this deal so hard that Diego doesn’t have the chance to apologize before he’s eating bullets. And Jasha will be with me. I’ve arranged for him to fly in tonight.”
His words send a shiver down my spine, and I feel vulnerable under his gaze. Nikolai’s attention is intoxicating, but I have to keep reminding myself that it’s laced with danger. This man could kill someone with a snap of his fingers, yet he seems to care for me deeply.
“We’ll get Eddy back,” I say, trying to sound resolute and not impossibly distracted by Nikolai.
“We will,” he assures me, his voice low and soft. “I’ve dealt with the Cartel before. They’re not that sophisticated, and if they’re pressed hard enough, they’ll crack. We’ll get your cousin, and then we’ll make them pay.”
“I just want to get Eddy back and leave this horrible place,” I reply, shaking my head. “No more violence.”
“That’s your choice, but I also get to make mine, and that choice is to destroy the Cartel once and for all. Once Eddy is safe, we’re going to crush them. I promised Gabriel I would give him the P50, and I’m no liar.”
My heart leaps into my throat. “But we need that to trade for Eddy.”
“Relax,” he says, waving his hand to calm me down. “We’re going to give it to the Cartel just like they asked, and then they’re going to lead us to their hideout and we’re going to blast them to bits.”
“Like I said, I don’t want anything to do with them. I’m not following those fuckers and putting myself into more danger once I finish what I came here to do. I’m going back to America and staying there.”
He shrugs. “You can stay at my house, if you want.”
“We’ll talk about that later,” I say in a hurry, looking away from him because I can’t stand the level of intensity that’s back in his eyes. He wants to keep me, and I want to be his, but there’s a price to pay for that.
And I’m still not sure if I can afford it.
“Okay, let’s just focus on getting Eddy. I know he’s going to be able to help us. After that, we’ll discuss what we want to do.”
I had almost forgotten that Nikolai wanted Eddy to help him gain insight on the inner workings of the Cartel. It doesn’t seem like Eddy is in any condition to be questioned by a Bratva boss. He’s probably due for a hospital visit instead.
But I don’t want to get to arguing with Nikolai again. As long as we get Eddy back, I’m happy.
I take a deep breath through my nose, letting it out slowly. “Okay, so I should probably text Diego and confirm that we’re meeting with him.”
“Remember,you’remeeting with him,” he says, pointing to me. “I’m going to be with Jasha, watch the deal go down. Anything gets screwy, and we’re moving in.”
“I trust you,” I say, my gaze falling to the floor.
“You should,” he says, moving towards me. He lifts my chin with his finger, forcing me to meet his eyes again. “I would die before I let anything happen to you.”
His words send a thrill through me, but also a wave of dread. “Don’t say that,” I whisper, feeling a heavy weight in my chest where my heart should be.
“Why not? It’s the truth.” He brushes one of the curls away from my face that I spent so long trying to get perfect before we left. Tonight was supposed to be our special night, and it was ruined by Diego.
Maybe I should feel more vengeful, but I just feel broken.
And it’s even worse because of what Nikolai is saying. I don’t want him to die for me.
“I can’t bear the thought of losing you,” I admit to him, my voice barely above a whisper. “So don’t say you’ll die for me.”
The room falls silent, filled only with the tension that has been building between us. I can feel his breath on my skin, and I can smell the mix of cologne and sweat that clings to him.
His eyes search mine, and I see the boy again.
The innocent one who doesn’t understand why there has to be so much pain in the world.
And he speaks to the girl inside me, the one who just wants to be loved.
