AllFreeNovel
Share Us
"What else should you have told me?" I asked.
He looked thoughtful. "Your next heat won't make you more Fae. To the absolute best of my knowledge, as you are today is as you will always be. And I will seek out the other Silent Maidens and bring them here if need be."
"And tell them everything?" I looked at him through narrowed eyes. I narrowed them further when he hesitated.
"If you agree to stay here, I promise to discuss it with you," he said slowly. "You may agree it's safer not to tell them."
"And if I don't?" I asked.
"Then we will tell them everything," he conceded. "However…"
"However, what?"
"However, we will need to find another alpha. Now we have the mate bond, I'll only ever take part in your heat and Tavian's."
"Because the bond won't allow it?" I knew nothing about bonds like ours, but I hadn't realised it was so restrictive. It seemed to me like a hum in the back of my mind, unless I concentrated on it.
"BecauseIwon't," he said firmly. "If either of you leave and choose another alpha, then I'll step aside from all heats. Who am I to go against the will of the gods?"
"I have a feeling you go against the will of the gods a lot," I said. He seemed to live life by his will and that alone.
He grinned. "And I have a feeling I can say the same about you."
What could I say to that? Geralda would agree with him.
"I don't think I would have made a very good priestess," I admitted. I wasn't entirely sure the gods existed, for one thing. That seemed like an important requisite for someone working in the temple.
"Your fate was never to be a priestess," he agreed.
"Was this my fate?" I gestured at my face.
"I think of it more as a realisation of who you really are," he said. "You never had any suspicion?"
"Should I have?" I asked. "It seems like all my life people have been lying to me. How am I supposed to believe a word anyone says?" When I thought about it, the whole thing was pretty fucked up.
I looked at him evenly. I could do that to him now, he was only a couple of centimetres taller than me.
"Can you promise never to lie to me again?"
"I never lied to you," he said. "I can't promise not to keep things from you if I believe knowing will hurt you. I don't believe anyone can make that kind of promise, even you. But I can promise not to deliberately deceive you when I know you would want to know, when the finding out will be worse than the not knowing. I misjudged and for that I am sorry." He seemed genuinely sincere. Of course, it was easy to be sincerely sorry after the fact.
I wanted to deny what he said, but I couldn't. There were nights I snuck out when Tyla was asleep and went looking for trouble with Zared. Times I never told her about. I wasn't entirely honest with Zared about my feelings for him, because I wanted to avoid hurting him.
None of that excused Ryze lying to me. I may never forgive him for that. But nothing here was black and white, nothing simple.
"If you keep anything from me, can I dump freezing cold water on your head?" I asked, only half-joking. Yes, it was petty, but it was still strangely satisfying. And much less messy than cutting off body parts. Especially body parts I might need again someday if I decided to forgive him.
"I would prefer that to having you cut my balls off, so yes," he said. "I might even let you do it in front of the entire court. I'm sure they'd enjoy the spectacle." His amused expression was back.
"I know I would," I said. "I should practice a few times, just in case I miss."
"You could do that, or we could learn some actual, useful magic." He gestured towards the jug.
"Like making cubes of ice for glasses of whiskey?" I cocked my head at him.
"That's definitely useful," he said. "I was thinking more along the lines of trying to make portals. That's the single most useful skill I can do with my magic. I can't guarantee you'll be able to do it, but we can try." He shrugged one shoulder, indicating it was up to me if I wanted to try.
I eyed him doubtfully. "Isn't that advanced magic?"
