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“I’d like to think I did,” she said, as they walked into the house.
“Don’t doubt yourself,” he said.
“What?” she asked, her smile dropping.
“I see it in your eyes. Every once in a while a little bit of insecurity creeps out and you try to catch it and hammer it back into place. Don’t worry about that with me. It only makes you human.”
Guess she hadn’t done as good of a job making changes in her life as she’d hoped.
Or at least putting up the front of self-assurance.
“I suppose,” she said. “Let’s not talk about this though.” Her arms went up and around his neck. “Just kiss me like you’ve been doing. We won’t have any thoughts in our mind after and nothing to stop us.”
He lifted her chin with his thumb and finger, his mouth lowering. “You’re beautiful. Inside and out.” He kissed her softly. Almost like a chaste one that he wanted to come back for more of. “You’re so much more beautiful now than you were at sixteen. You were a girl then. You’re a woman with all the right amount of curves now.”
She jumped back. It was like cold water on her head. “You think I’m fat?”
He ran his hands through his hair. “Wow. I can’t do or say anything right tonight. I’ve never thought I was that smooth before but didn’t think I was this bad. I just complimented you and you think I told you that you were fat?”
She ran her hands over her face. She was losing it.
Never did she think she’d be reacting to this, but maybe it had to do with Christian being her first.
Not only her first lover ever but the first one after her divorce too.
Did that mean something?
She couldn’t think of it right now.
“Sorry,” she said. It was all she could think to say.
“Let’s just take a break,” he said. “It doesn’t mean I don’t want to see you naked because I do, but I want to make sure you’re in the same frame of mind as me. Right now I’m terrified I’m going to mess something up and it’s too much pressure. I might not be able to get it up and embarrass the hell out of myself.”
She wasn’t sure how she could laugh at a time like this, but she did. Leave it to Christian to relax her.
“I doubt there is anything you can or will do to embarrass yourself.”
“I’m not so sure,” he said. His arm went out and touched her bicep. “These are pretty big. I bet they could knock some sense into me.”
She grabbed him by the shirtfront and all but attacked his mouth.
The next thing she knew they were circling the empty front living room in her house, the echoing of their feet on the floor lost to her now.
They were pulling shirts off, jeans tugging down and shoes being kicked away.
She reached down to pull her socks off because there was no way she was going to have sex just wearing them.
He did the same thing, then was reaching for his jeans and pulled a condom out of his wallet.
Damn, he’d gotten bigger. A lot more muscle on him too.
“Holy cow,” she said. “Look at your arms. And your abs. Who would have thought that from a guy that sits at a desk?”
He laughed, then lowered her to the floor, his mouth going to work again.
This time he didn’t keep it on her lips though, but rather moved down her chest. He found the front clasp of her bra, released it and parted it open, her breasts on display.
She always thought her chest was too big for the rest of her and normally strapped it down with sports bras, but she wanted to feel more like a woman when she was with Christian.
