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“Because her mannerisms were like looking in a mirror,” she said quickly. “This was a woman in front of me that was beaten down mentally and emotionally. Now I saw the signs of it physically. There was nothing in her medical records that indicated any signs of abuse though. Not until last night.”
She was watching his face and knew the moment he understood what she was saying. “You were abused by your ex-husband?” he asked. His fists were clenched and he looked ready to stand up, find his keys and drive to Georgia to find Tanner just as he had the night she’d commented on Tanner thinking she was fat.
“Verbally and emotionally I was for years,” she said. “I never saw it coming until it was right in my face.”
“Do you want to tell me what that means?” he asked. “If you don’t, I understand.”
“I came this far so I’m going to continue if you let me.”
“I want to know,” he said. “I think I need to know.”
“You do,” she said. “Abby knows. Not everything but most of it. My father doesn’t.”
“Your father suspects something,” he said.
“I know. He’s never asked me, but I know he’s hinted to Abby. Has he said anything to you?”
“Hints and questions that I don’t have answers to. Why doesn’t he know?”
Liz started to sniffle. “I didn’t want him to do anything about it. I didn’t want him to feel like he failed. There is so much in his life he felt like he failed at and I didn’t want to add to it.”
She wasn’t going to talk about her mother. That wasn’t what this was about. Not even her father and mother’s relationship.
“I want to say he wouldn’t feel that way, but I’m not sure.”
“He would have,” she said. “When I met Tanner, he was great. We got along. I met him in the ER. He came in hurt and then he came back. He brought me flowers. He asked me out. I said sure. I was living alone. I had some friends, but I didn’t get out much. You could say he won me over quickly. We got engaged in less than a year and married a year or so later. Everything was fine.”
“It didn’t start until you were married?” he asked. “Until he felt like he had you and you had nowhere to go?”
“That about sums it up. Looking back, I’m sure that might have been the plan. I didn’t think there was a plan, but it seems maybe there was.”
“What changed?” he asked.
“It started with my weight. I hadn’t weighed much more than when I was in high school. Maybe a bit more.”
“You were thin in high school,” he said. “You look perfectly healthy to me now. I think you were almost too thin in school, but you were a girl and now you’re a woman.”
It might have been the right thing he could have said. “Yeah. Well, he liked women thin. I hadn’t thought I put weight on, but he’d make comments. Then he’d buy me clothes and they were snug and he’d say I should lose a little to wear them.”
“He was buying you the wrong sizes?” he asked.
“No. Just styles that ran smaller. I lived most of my life in scrubs. Then he started to comment on my food choices. It seemed easier to just go along with it than fight. I was over fighting. I didn’t want to do it.”
She’d seen enough of it growing up with her parents. She’d always told herself she wouldn’t have a relationship like that, yet she had one.
One that was actually worse.
“You’re not afraid to say what you want now,” he said. “I’m glad to know that.”
“Good,” she said. “Because I’m never going back to being that person again. You need to know that.”
“What made you leave?” he asked.
“I don’t need to bore you with all the details. The weight was one thing. There were so many more controlling things. Belittling things. I’d get tired of fighting and either give in or walk away. When I’d walk away he’d grab my arm or give me a little shove. We were never done with conversations untilhewas done with them.”
“You didn’t do anything about it?” he asked. His face was red now.
“He’d always apologize. He’d turn it around that I made him do it. Then he’d leave after our fight, come back upset after he’d been drinking. Like he had to console himself for what he did. Things would get better and he’d make it up to me. We’d stop fighting and then it’d start over.”
