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My spine stiffened at the implication but I deflated just as quickly. Adam hadn’t hurt me, but he could have. If I hadn’t left the bed or woken him before he pulled the trigger, who knows what kind of damage he could have done while asleep.
“No,” my voice broke. “He almost did, but no,” the truth was a hard pill to swallow and even harder to speak aloud.
Adam had alluded to his violent past and dangerous nature. Even though I was in love with him, maybe I was naïve to think that I’d never see it with my own eyes. Maybe I didn’t know Adam Gage at all.
28
GAGE
Spots blurred my vision as I pulled my truck to the side of the road. The adrenaline still coursing through my veins combined with my rapid breathing was going to make me pass out if I didn’t pull myself together.
Raising my hands, palms up, they shook as I started at the dried blood staining my skin. Logically, I knew it was mine, the pain in my side and the blood-soaked bandage confirmed it, but I couldn’t rationalize that truth in my mind. My nightmare fused with visions of a terrified and trembling Mia while I pointed a gun at her. If she’d stayed in the bed, would I have strangled her in real life?
Jesus Christ.
Flinging my door open, I vomited into the dark grass below, my stomach spasming and bringing new waves of pain to my side.
I was a monster; I’d always known it. Now Mia did as well. Who was I to think that I could keep her, that I’d earned something that precious?
Wiping my mouth on the back of my hand, I shut my door and rested my head on the steering wheel. For one fantastic moment, I’d been happy. Thinking that after all the shit I’d been through, after all the shit I’d done, this was my reward. A beautiful, smart, loving woman and her awesome kid who I genuinely enjoyed spending time with.
“Fucking idiot,” I slammed my head against the wheel. Loneliness settled over me like a well-worn coat and I shifted the truck into drive. Mia wasn’t my reward. But she did need my help and I’d sworn to protect her and Miles above all else. Even my own happiness.
I pulled back onto the road and aimed my truck in the direction of my safe house. It wasn’t much more than a run-down apartment in a bad part of town. Something I’d purchased on a whim in case shit ever went sideways. Never did I imagine I’d be using it to run away from the love of my life.
29
MIA
“Damnit, I’m never going to get this right.”
I glared at the disaster that was supposed to be an arrangement for our Valentine’s Day display. Each rose was cut to a different length and not in an on-purpose kind of way. Three of them were too short to even rise above the edge of the vase.
“It’s not bad,” Gemma said much too kindly. “We’ll just take a few of these out and use them in a bud vase instead. See! Problem solved.” She squeezed my hunched over shoulder and walked to the table full of different sized vases we kept in the back room.
Stupid Valentine’s Day, I flicked one of the petals like it was their fault I was being tortured by the world’s worst made up holiday. When I’d woken up this morning, I’d allowed myself thirty seconds to imagine what today would’ve been like had Gage and I still been together. Then I’d mentally slapped myself and continued with my morning routine like it was any other day.
He’d been gone for weeks.Weeks.No phone call, no text message, no postcard, nada, nothing. And perhaps most painful of all, no glimpses of his tall, broad frame leaning against the tree in my front yard while he watched me. Apparently, he was just as capable of quitting his stalking cold turkey as he was at ignoring my existence. Asshole. The stem of the rose I’d been holding snapped in my clenched fist.
“Okie dokie,” Gemma pried my fingers open, removing the mutilated flower from my hand. “How about you take your break and I’ll finish up this arrangement.”
“I’m sorry, Gemma.” I felt horrible. In spite of all the difficulties in my life I’d always been an excellent employee, something I was proud of. That had drastically changed with Gage’s absence. I was rude to customers, I mixed up orders at the restaurant and it felt like I’d massacred a small fortune in flowers.
“Don’t worry about it, honey. Take your break. The forgetful husband rush won’t start for another few hours.” Her smile was sympathetic and I felt bad for hating that sympathy. I’d dropped the whole sad tale of my failed relationship on her shoulders the day after Gage left. She and Brooks had both been incredibly understanding but tended to give me a wide berth thanks to my brand-new grumpy temperament.
I left the store, not sure where I was going but knowing I needed to get away from all the bright pink hearts and taunting cupid decorations. Inevitably, I glanced across the street at Falls Security. The front of the office appeared as it always did, windows tinted dark enough that I couldn’t see inside and no obvious signs of whether or nothewas even there.
Movement caught my attention and my smile was genuine when I saw Benji and Lily standing outside the bakery jumping up and down while waving at me like maniacs. I looked both ways because people could be crazy and that extended to their driving. Then I jaywalked across the street and into their welcoming arms. They squeezed my body between them, effectively making a Mia sandwich.
“We’ve been making faces at you through the windows for the last twenty minutes. You were either seriously buried in your own head or have no situational awareness, babe.” Benji tickled my sides when he released me, making me laugh.
“Sorry, I was too busy mutilating all of Gemma’s red roses to notice. Did you know it’s Valentine’s Day?” I asked with a heavy dose of sarcasm as I followed them both into the bakery, purposely ignoring the office next door.
“That must be why my fingertips have been stained red from icing sixty-nine thousand heart-shaped cupcakes over the last two days,” Benji wiggled his red-tipped fingers in my face.
Sweet Cheeks Bakery had done just as much business as Rose Over Bros this week. I’d seen people crossing the street after leaving our store and vice versa.
“How are you? How’s work? Is Miles doing okay?” Lily questioned me like a nervous mother hen while she settled an overflowing plate of cupcakes and cookies in front of me. None of them were Valentine’s themed and for that I was grateful.
