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This had been a common routine for the pair since finding out about mine and Gage’s breakup. Benji would make me laugh, Lily would fuss and hover while stuffing me with sweets. It was comforting even if it was stifling at times. I’d never had a mother figure in my life, my foster parents had been great but they’d been too busy to be overly involved in our lives.
With my lack of experience, I never could have imagined how hard an actual breakup would be. That is, I was pretty sure Adam and I were broken up. Ghosting your girlfriend after running out of your own house in the middle of the night was a pretty clear signal. If not, I was mad enough now that if he ever showed his face again,Iwas going to break up withhim.
The night he’d left, Roe and Sam had shown up to the house not long after I’d called. I hadn’t even thought about my appearance and the state of the bedroom, especially since both were still covered in evidence of what had occurred. They’d taken it in like the seasoned investigators they were. All traces of Roe’s comical personality hidden behind a wall of worry-laced professionalism.
It had taken me a while to understand when they’d asked me if I needed a ride somewhere. When it clicked, I’d been even more embarrassed than of my half-dressed bloody appearance. Of course, I needed to leave. It wasn’t my house, no matter how much I felt at home there and presumably Gage would return at some point. And he wasGageto me again. He’d changed right in front of me, Adam was gone and Gage had taken his place. Any traces of warmth between us were long gone.
I’d locked myself in the bathroom for a few moments of privacy, showering to wash away the blood. The entire time I’d thought how odd that hours ago the room had been filled with laughter, desire, even love. Now it felt like every tile on the wall was mocking that memory.
After my shower, I’d packed anything in the bathroom that belonged to me and prepared to do the same in each room of the house until our presence was completely erased. Removing Miles’ things from the bedroom that had been so thoughtfully decorated with him in mind had brought me to tears all over again.
Returning to the main bedroom, I’d been shocked to find the mattress bare, the sheets and comforter missing.
“I, uh, put them in the wash. It’s easier to remove blood stains if you douse them in hydrogen peroxide and wash them fast,” Roe explained, shifting uncomfortably from foot to foot.
“I suppose commando laundry lessons is part of the curriculum next to gun maintenance and proper boot lacing techniques,” I joked, just as uncomfortable as he was. After that little bit of conversation, he and Sam hung back while I packed the rest of our things.
Once everything was loaded into Roe’s truck, I watched the charming house grow smaller through the back window while we drove away. My heart ached, feeling like I’d lost not only Adam but what could have been a home for the three of us, together.
“I’m good, really,” I pushed memories of that night aside and plastered a smile on my face for my friend. I really liked Lily and Benji, just as much as I liked Sam, Winnie and Roe. But they were all tied in one way or another to Falls Security and therefore Gage. Something that I was having a hard time reconciling when every time I was with one of them, thoughts of him inevitably filled my mind.
We talked about nothing of consequence as I finished my break and she packed the leftovers into a box for Miles, seeing as I’d only nibbled on one of the cookies during our talk. Food was something I normally loved, cooking it, eating it. I’d especially loved sharing meals with Adam and Miles. Those had been my favorites. Lately, though, I hadn’t had much of an appetite.
Waving goodbye, I ran across the street and back into the store. It seemed that it had been overrun with customers in my absence and after tucking the box into my purse, I dove straight into helping Gemma, grateful for something to keep my mind occupied. It seemed my days were now full of whatever distractions I could come up with, anything to avoid thinking about what could have been.
30
GAGE
“Jesus, it’s like the Turners but on crack,” I mumbled to myself as I took a photo of the husband and wife fighting in front of the bedroom window.
Talking to myself had become a habit over the last few weeks. I’d always considered myself a loner, but even I could admit that my life was like the making of a villain origin story. Outside of coffee and fast-food orders, I hadn’t spoken to a single human being since the night I’d almost attacked Mia, hence the external monologuing.
When I’d arrived at the safe house, I’d shut down all thought that wasn’t necessary for survival. I’d moved on autopilot as I walked through the single-room apartment, ticking off my mental checklist. I’d made sure to keep it stocked with the essentials in the event of an emergency. Extra clothes, first aid, canned goods and a brand-new burner phone and laptop.
After changing my filthy bandage, which was much harder than when Mia had helped me earlier, I’d booted up the laptop and sent a message to Gray. I had a stockpile of vacation days and I planned on using them all right now. He’d responded a few hours later with a long list of questions that I had no intention of answering. What was he going to do, fire me? At this point I couldn’t find a single fuck to give.
Then, I’d holed up for a few days reacquainting myself with the file that Roe had originally given me and sorting through the new intel he’d provided on Drake Avery. I’d already known that Avery was a corporate attorney. According to Roe’s new file, those companies were shell corporations. Avery’s specialty was tax evasion and who knew what else for rich criminals. He’d built a nice little career and a fat bank roll thanks to blood money. In my line of work someone who is willing to break or bend the law in one area usually wasn’t opposed to doing it in others as well. Say, murdering your wife.
My spine shot straight as I watched Avery lift his hand in the air as if he was going to backhand his current wife. She dropped to the floor and covered her head with her hands while he laughed at her like the bastard he was. When he left the room, minutes later the garage door opened and he sped out in a bright orange Corvette, more than likely to go fuck his receptionist.
“What a douche,” I put my camera down with no intentions of following him. I already had one too many pictures of his flat ass while he pumped into the much younger woman beneath him in the apartment he paid for. My ears still rang from her over the top and obviously fake screams of pleasure.
Standing up, I stretched my arms above my head, trying to relieve the stiffness in my neck and back from staying in the same position for too long. My stomach rumbled reminding me that I’d forgotten to eat, again. Checking the time, I saw I had about an hour before the coffee shop next door closed.
Glancing at my laptop, I weighed the benefits of skipping dinner against my addiction. I’d installed the program my first day here and my resolve was growing weaker every day. I was a man who liked routines, habits, something that had been drilled into me by my superiors at a young age. My biggest routine of all was watching Mia and I hadn’t done it in weeks.
During one of my more psychotic stalking periods, I’d thought about this exact kind of scenario. What if I was unable to watch her in person? There were extended assignments where I could be gone for weeks at a time and the idea of not being able to watch over her had me bordering on the edge of insane. I’d done what any rational security professional would do in an unknown situation. I installed cameras.
They surrounded the perimeter of her house and there was a panoramic view of every room inside, including her bathroom. To my credit, I’d struggled with the ethics of that one. Rationally, I believed she deserved privacy but then my darker side had presented multiple examples of all the terrible things that could happen in a bathroom. Mia could slip on a puddle of water and crack her head open on the corner of the sink. Someone could hold her hostage by locking her inside, there was no window for her to escape. Hell, she could nick herself with a razor and I’d want to be there to make it better.
An itch settled beneath my skin as I thought about how easy it would be to open the laptop and check on her. I’d only allowed myself thirty seconds a day. Long enough to make sure she and Miles had made it home at night and were safe inside. No more than I would’ve seen had I been in my usual spot in the front yard.
However, I’d already done that hours ago and I craved more. She’d probably be in bed right now. Her breathing soft as she lay on her side with her arms wrapped around a pillow. It was her preferred way to sleep, unless I was with her, then she wrapped herself around me. Which is exactly how I could have killed her had she not left the bed that night. The reminder was enough for me to firm up my resolve and leave her be.
Avery lived in a posh neighborhood downtown where only young professionals and wealthy families could afford to reside. He owned a four-story townhome that was conveniently located across from a block of condominiums that were under construction. It’d made the perfect place for me to observe his schedule. Home, work, the receptionist’s apartment, fancy restaurants with important looking clients and repeat.
I shoved the laptop into my bag with the rest of my equipment, double checking nothing was left behind. It all got packed up and went with me when I left, I wasn’t willing to take the risk that someone might stumble across it and either steal it or turn it over to the police. There was nothing about what I was doing that could be easily explained away. Gray made sure that we all had the necessary licenses and credentials to carry out our work but given that I’d gone AWOL, I needed to be careful.
