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He turns so I can completely see his face. Where have I . . . the penny drops.
Get fucked.
That’s the fucking fiancé.
She’s still with him. That’s it! I storm down to the deck chair, infuriated.
“She has got to be fucking kidding,” I spit.
“Who?”
“Little Miss Innocent from number eleven.”
Ant exhales heavily. “What now?”
“You know who’s at her fucking house right now? I’ll tell you who,” I fume. “It’s that dopy prick fiancé.”
“Huh?”
“She’s still with him.” I begin to pace. “So she’s dry humping me at the wedding in public, forcing me to go back to my apartment because I can’t be trusted being next door to her and not jumping the fence. Get blisters on my hand from wanking so much, and the whole entire time she’s still going to marry him,” I spit.
Ant stares at me.
“Oh . . . she’s good, I’ll give her that. Plays me like a fucking fiddle.” I walk back and forth on the deck as my mind races. “You know what she is?” I point at him. “She’s venomous. She’s a lying, poisonous, voodoo-pussy wolf in a lamb suit. That’s what she is.”
Ant thinks for a moment. “Sneaky woolly muff?”
I smirk at his analogy. “Exactly.”
“What are you going to do about it?”
I drop to sit down and exhale heavily. “Nothing.”
“Nothing as in wank over her some more?”
I roll my eyes, disgusted at myself for wanting her. “Pretty much.”
I glance at my watch as I drink my coffee. Shit, I’ve got to go. I’m late.
I’m on struggle street this morning. Exhausted after tossing and turning over the witch next door.
I’m over it. I’m over her.
Fuck this.
I put my toast in my mouth to hold it, grab my coffee to go, and walk past the glass back door, and something catches my eye.
Huh . . .
I step back and stare into my backyard. My face drops in horror. “What the fuck?” I explode. I open the sliding door to see carnage like you’ve never seen before.
Mud.
Everywhere.
Potted plants tipped over and chewed up.
My white Italian outdoor couch cushions covered in mud. “Someone has broken in and vandalized my entire backyard.” I look around. “I’ve never seen anything like this.”
