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“So you thought lurking around in the dark was the best option?”
“Like I said, I didn’t have much of a plan. Are you okay?”
“That’s a loaded question.” I rub the space between my eyebrows. “I wasn’t lying when I said my life was messy. I guess one of my coaches talked to my mom at the diner today and spilled the beans about the Hockey Academy. I hadn’t told my parents because I knew it would just cause a fight. And it did. And then my dad ransacked my room and found my acceptance letter to college and the money I’d been saving for tuition for the fall. He took all of it.”
“What the fuck?” BJ’s lip curls.
I think it’s the first time I’ve seen him angry.
“Maybe I can help you get it back.”
I put my hand on his chest and shake my head. “No. You can’t. It’s too late. He’s gone, and he’ll spend it all on nothing. I should have opened a second bank account, but I didn’t, and that’s on me.”
A door opens and closes, and Mom calls, “Winter? Did you go down to the dock?”
“Shit. Stay right here and keep quiet, please. My mom can’t know you’re here,” I whisper. I move toward the cabin. “I’m out back, picking up empties,” I yell. “Remember to stay away from the railing. It’s not safe!”
The sliding door opens and closes again, and a few seconds later, my mom pokes her head out the back door. “I’m really sorry.”
“I know, Mom. It’s not your fault.”
“I’m going to lie down. Don’t stay out here too long. Someone reported a bear sighting a couple weeks back.”
“I’ll be in soon.”
“I love you,” she says softly.
“I love you too, Mom.” It’s bad enough that my dad is blaming this on her. I can’t do that too. It’ll keep her up all night, and tomorrow will be twice as hard.
Once my mom disappears inside, I go back to BJ. His lips are mashed in a thin line. I sigh. “You weren’t supposed to see this side of my life.”
“You wanted to feed me a curated version of you?” He tucks a hand in his pocket.
“I liked that we were having fun, and spending time with you is a break from this. I’m not a damsel in distress.”
He tilts his head. “I know you’re not a damsel. But it seems to me like you’re fighting a lot of battles on your own. I think the bigger question you need to ask yourself, Winter, is who are you really protecting when you hide your truth from people who care about you? ’Cause from the outside looking in, it sure doesn’t seem to be you.”
“I appreciate that you’re concerned or whatever, but I’ve got things handled.” I kick at a stone on the ground. “You should go. I don’t know how long my dad will be gone, and I don’t want you to get mauled by a bear, because that would make future Fingerbang Fridays hard.”
“Okay. Hint taken. Dropping it for now.” He pulls me in for a hug, then cups my cheeks between his palms and kisses me. It’s soft and sweet, and I get lost in it for a few long seconds, until he steps back. His gaze moves over my face. “You don’t have to fight every fight with an army of one, Winter. Just remember that, okay?”
“It’s all I’ve ever known.”
“It doesn’t have to stay that way.” He drops his hands and steps back. “I’ll see you tomorrow at the game.”
I watch him disappear down the driveway before I go back inside.
BJ’s words stick with me as I clean up my room and climb into bed. Because he’s right. The only person I’m protecting when I hide the abuse is the abuser. And how fucked up is that?
13 WE ALL FALL DOWN
BJ
I wake on edge, which isn’t a surprise after last night. I messaged Winter when I got home and she hearted it, but she’s been quiet since.
I check again this morning, but it’s just the usual in the group chat. Lovey’s working at the foodbank this morning, and Mav is coaching the boys’ team with Lovey’s dad and Darren Westinghouse. Clover has the literacy program, but Mav said she’s hoping to make the second half. Rose is working at Boones.
I have new messages from Adele, promising she’ll be on time and saying she’s determined to make the triple twist work. I scheduled us early so I can be there to watch the game. I want Winter to feel supported, because from what I’ve witnessed, she doesn’t have much from the people who count.
