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The pathetic whine filling my voice almost is enough to make me wince.
Could I sound like more of a needy bitch?
Her shoulders stiffen as she straightens on the butter soft leather before slowly swiveling toward me. “That’s not what I’m doing.”
My fingers tighten around the steering wheel until the knuckles turn bone white. “Isn’t it?”
“I’m sorry. I’m just trying to process everything that happened.”
“What’s there to process? We got caught having sex. It’s not that big of a deal.” Nerves explode within me as a sick knot twists in the pit of my belly.
She releases a shaky breath as her voice dips. “Crawford’s really angry with us.”
“I told you earlier, he’ll get over it. Don’t make more of an issue out of the situation than it is.” There’s a bite to my voice that I wish weren’t filling it. But I don’t like the direction this convo is headed. Already I can tell it won’t be good. It feels as if there’s an ocean of distance sitting between us.
And I hate it.
If only it were possible to rewind time to what we were before walking through that door tonight.
“The last thing I want is to cause a problem between you and your father.” There’s a pause before she tacks on softly, “It’s not worth it.”
Not worth it?
What the fuck does that mean?
I flick a quick glance in her direction, trying to get a read on her thoughts. Unfortunately, a second or two glimpse in the darkness isn’t enough time to figure that out.
Instead, I stare at the black ribbon of road stretched out ahead of us, searching for a place to pull over. The sick knot at the bottom of my belly has swelled in size.
When the headlights fall on a convenience store up the road, I swerve into the parking lot and cut the engine before swiveling toward her. Rain continues to batter the roof of the vehicle, filling the silence.
Carina’s eyes widen. “What are you doing?”
“Pulling over so we can hash this out.”
Her tongue darts out to moisten her lips as her gaze flits away. “It couldn’t have waited until we got back to the apartment?”
“No. Plus, I’m not altogether certain you wouldn’t take off before we could actually do that.”
The guilt that flickers in her eyes tells me everything I need to know, and it pisses me the fuck off.
We’re more than that.
I deserve more than that.
Her voice dips. “Ford—”
“Tell me what you meant when you said this wasn’t worth it.”
Misery crashes over her features as she glances away. “This was just supposed to be sex. It’s what we agreed to in the beginning.”
My fingers slide beneath her chin before turning her face until she has no other choice but to meet my gaze. “I think we both know it was never just sex. You can try and fool yourself all you want, but I’m not buying it.”
“Don’t make this harder than it has to be.”
My eyes widen and my mouth crashes open. “Is that what I’m doing? Making this harder?”
“Yeah.” There’s a beat of agonizing silence. And then another. I feel every second of it thundering through my veins. “I think this arrangement has run its course.”
