AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“Yeah, I’ve been to therapy. It didn’t fix me, just made me more aware of the things I was doing. I was fully aware of what I was doing to you.”
Anthony shoved him. “If you’re trying to hurt me, fuck you.”
“Sorry.” He crossed his arms. “It’s all a bit much, isn’t it?”
Jay chuckled. “Yeah, a tad. Yo, Ant, stop complicating things and get down to business before this turns into more of Dr. Phil.”
Anthony ran a hand through his curly hair. “Jesus, you guys are annoying.” He told Chris, “I’m not going to call you names or hit you or anything like that.”
Chris nodded. “I don’t have any expectations. Do what you feel is right.” He looked at me. “Both of you.”
“I might call you names,” I said.
He laughed. “Knew I could count on you.”
16
Then came awkwardness, keeping me rooted in place. I knew what was supposed to happen next—in theory—but it felt that the balance had now shifted, and there was no clear leader to guide us. Jay seemed content with sitting back and watching us trying to figure this out, the bastard.
It was Chris who broke the silence. “I’m going for a quick shower. Try not to lose your shit in the meantime, okay?”
Anthony stared at him blankly, while I managed to nod. Once Chris was gone, I crashed on the couch next to Jay, who snickered.
“Shut up,” I said.
Anthony came to sit on Jay’s other side. “I don’t feel good about this.”
“You will soon enough,” Jay said and pulled his boxers back on.
“You heard what he told us.”
“Yeah, I was right here. Doesn’t mean I’m gonna start treating him differently. If someone keeps a secret like that for so long, you can bet he doesn’t want anyone to look at him differently.”
I got the feeling he wasn’t only talking about Chris's secret.
“I know,” Anthony mumbled. “But it’s a lot, and I feel like an ass.”
“The hell for? He was horrible to you. You’re gonna give him a free pass because of some crappy childhood?”
Anthony remained silent, but I could see what Jay meant. Knowing Chris had demons he’d been struggling with made me feel more compelled to forgive him, but treating him like a wounded bird wasn’t going to make him feel better. According to him, there was only one thing I could do to make him feel better about what he’d done.
“So,” Jay said, “you think he’s cleaning his pussy right now for you two?”
“Jesus, you’re gross,” Anthony said.
“Nah, I’m just looking at it the way he wants us to. Sex. Dirty sex. No romance, no lovey-dovey. If you want to have fun and still be able to look each other in the eyes tomorrow, you better tune your brain to look at it like that.”
“You’re right,” I said and watched the closed bathroom door, where the water was running on the other side. “I’m sure he’s cleaning his pussy for us right now, and I’m going to make sure he didn’t waste his time.”
Jay chuckled and patted my leg. “Attaboy.”
A few minutes later, the water stopped running and my stomach clenched.This is it.I could practically feel Anthony tensing on the other side of the couch.
The door opened and Chris came out, a white towel wrapped around his hips. His hair was still a bit wet, and a few drops of water remained on his shoulders and chest. He caught us sitting on the couch, looking at him like we were waiting for a doctor’s appointment. He seemed nervous, his palms rubbing against his thighs while his eyes traveled here and there. Now that the sexual atmosphere had dwindled, he was more self-aware, more wary. Hell, we all were.
Jay nudged me with his leg, and I blinked and got hold of myself. I stood up and walked slowly toward Chris. He straightened, back stiff and shoulders tense.
I stopped in front of him and allowed my eyes to roam over his body, feeling that I was seeing him for the first time, although, by now, I should have felt familiar with every part of him. I still felt horrible for deceiving him into coming here, but I reminded myself to focus on the here and now, on the nervous man standing in front of me and waiting for my next move. My doubts seemed meaningless compared to his chance at redemption, and I wasn’t going to let him down.
