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“Come on, babe,” he says softly. “Let’s get you inside where it’s warm.”
I obey, putting one barefoot out and then the other. He lifts me effortlessly into his arms and carries me up the stairs, into the house. I revel in the safety and strength of his arms. I rest my head against his chest, feel the beating of his heart, and am comforted. I don’t dwell on the fact that I’d never have been in this harrowing situation in the first place had I not been involved with him.
He carries me up the stairs to our bedroom where he wraps me in the comforter. After kissing my brow, he goes to the bathroom and begins running water to fill the garden tub. As I lay there, I watch as he pours in various soothing oils designed to help me destress from the trying ordeal.
I must have drifted to sleep because I hear him call my name and feel the gentle nudge. He takes me by the hand and leads me to the full tub, overrunning with sudsy bubbles. The lights are dimmed, and meditative music plays over the sound system. A glass of red wine awaits me.
Bash kisses the top of my head and then withdraws from the bathroom. He’s apparently concerned that I may not want to be naked around any man after the nightmare I just endured. He may be right, but I feel strangely bereft without him.
But my primary need is to feel clean again. Thank God, Sebastian arrived before any irrevocable damage had occurred. Other than Sergei’s grubby hands on me and being ogled, no unendurable violation had taken place in the form of penile penetration into any orifice.
I step out of my bra and panties, in slide into the warm fragrant bath. I slip all the way down, below the water, allowing every inch of me to be washed clean.
I break through the surface when I can hold my breath no longer. Only then does the horror of what happened really hit me. The tears are now flowing unabashed, and the sobs rack my body.
It’s not long before Sebastian enters and kneels by the bathtub.
“I’m so sorry, Mads. I’m so damned sorry for what happened. It’s all my fault.”
When I look up at him, his eyes are glistening with tears.
“I should’ve protected you, should’ve know what that animal would try.”
I let him wrap his arms around me and gather me into his arms as I continue to cry.
“I swear to you, nothing like that will ever happen again. You’ll be safe with me. I stake my life on that.”
He continues to stroke my wet hair and tenderly kiss my brow to console me.
“And this place,” he says looking around admirably, “is a virtual fortress, Mads. And from this point on, you’ll have an armed escort to see you safely to and from work. Nothing like that will ever happen again. I promise you that.”
I don’t know how long we remain that way with him comforting me, but the water now feels lukewarm going to cold.
I finally find my voice. “Towel.”
He rises from my side and returns with a big plush one. He spreads it wide for me as I rise from the bath. He wraps it around me and holds me close.
“Precious angel, I love you so much.” He whispers in my ear.
I cling to him as if this were the only safe space in the world when probably the very opposite is true.
“I should get some sleep,” I say into his chest. “I have an early shift in the morning.”
“No, I reached out to your friend Lisa, she’ll take your shift tomorrow.”
I look up at him. “What?”
“You’re in no shape to be working tomorrow. Please give yourself a little time to recover from this. I wouldn’t want you coming apart in the middle of the O.R.”
While I can’t fault his reasoning, I take offense at him stepping into my workspace, making arrangements without my knowledge. I know he only did it out of concern for my well-being, but still.
“What did she say? We usually don’t do this on such short notice unless we’re sick.”
“She’s glad to do it. She thinks very highly of you.”
“Not if I start calling out at the last minute.” I squeeze my eyes shut. “The chief resident will think I lack commitment.”
He cradles my face in his hands. “Baby, you’re getting that cardiothoracic residency. I guarantee you that.”
