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“Why?” Christian asked.
“To make it even,” Jeremy answered.
“That’s exactly right. The biggest part about a cookie is to make sure no matter how you divide it up, each cookie has what it needs to be a cookie. So you mix the dry and wet separately, and then you slowly pour the dry into the wet so everything gets all mixed up,” I further explained, and Christian gave a confident nod; I could tell he was a smart little boy.
I worked with them on each step and made sure they both had turns to measure and pour the ingredients into the proper bowl. I took over the mixing part so we didn’t get it everywhere. Once it was all mixed in cookie dough, I spoke.
“Now comes the fun part,” I started as I grabbed the flour and started to pour some of it out onto the table.
“No mess! Daddy no like messes,” Christian instantly called out, and I could hear the panic in his voice.
I placed my hand on his back and rubbed it gently as I spoke, “It’s okay. We’re gonna clean it all up. Don’t worry. We need to use the flour so the cookie dough won’t stick to the table so you guys can make shapes out of it. I promise, I will clean it all up.”
It broke my heart to see how panicked he was at the sight of flour on a table. It was nothing that a cloth or a dust pan couldn’t handle. It would only take a couple of minutes to clean up; it was no big deal. He shouldn’t be so wound up that flour was going to break him. He was a kid and a big part of being a kid was making messes.
“Always clean up our messes,” Jeremy added with a warm smile.
“It’ll be okay. I promise. And this really is the best part,” I said, hoping it would put him more at ease.
Christian gave a reluctant nod, and I got the cookie dough out of the bowl and onto the table.
“Now, you are gonna push down on the cookie dough and make it nice and flat. First though, get your hands covered in flour so it won’t stick to you.”
“Like this,” Jeremy said as he took a bit of flour from the bag and rubbed his hands together, covering them in the white powder.
Christian was hesitant, but he moved forward and got a small amount of flour on his hands as he rubbed it in. He added a bit more before he pushed his fingers into the dough and for the first time, I heard a genuine laugh out of him. He was being a kid and it was heartwarming to see. I went over to check on dinner while the boys got to work on making different shapes out of the cookies. I then grabbed the baking sheets so I could get them loaded up on it. There were going to be a few rounds of cooking, but that was fine. All that mattered was that the boys were getting along and having these moments to bond with each other. It also allowed Christian to just be a kid, and I was hoping that Jeremy would have a positive influence on him.
I couldn’t believe how strict Liam was. I thought Adam was bad. Fuck, he was even worse. I got that he was a billionaire, and he had to be strict and professional in order to be as successful as he was. It took a lot of work to be that wealthy, and I would never hold it against him. But there was also a time where you had to leave that part of you at the door and just be a fun and normal person. His son needed to have the freedom to be a kid and not have to worry if he got a bit of dirt on the floor.
No kid should have to live in a museum, and with any luck by being here, I would be able to help Christian come out of his shell more and maybe get the rules a bit loosened up. Even if that was only during the hours that I would get to have with him. After all, hiding a mess was the least of my worries when I was hiding the paternity of Jeremy from him. Shaking those thoughts from my mind, I focused on not burning dinner and helping the boys with their cookies. Tonight was about fun and just allowing the boys to acclimate to each other. And so far, everything was going pretty well, and it was giving me hope for the future.
Liam
Idraggedmywearybones out of my truck and made my way into my house. It was just after eight, and I was expecting for Christian to already be in bed after he brushed his teeth and took a bath. I knew it was only the first day, but that didn’t change that I expected excellence and for Jasmine to follow the schedule. It was all laid out so it shouldn’t be that hard for her.
After Ellis left my office I had decided to stick around and do some paperwork and get ahead of what needed to be done tomorrow. I wanted to come rushing back, but I also knew that the boys needed to get used to each other and Christian needed to get used to Jasmine. It was only the first day, but at least they were getting a few hours together, and then tomorrow would be their first all day experience.
I knew Christian would be a good boy, but I also knew he was only three, and he was going to have problems adapting to this massive change. He was going to have a meltdown and there wasn’t anything I could do about that. All I could do was hope he found joy and excitement during his time with Jasmine and Jeremy.
I walked through the door of my home, and I was glad to hear that it was quiet. There weren’t kids running around the house screaming in either play or fight. It was a very good sign. I took my jacket off and hung it up before I removed my shoes and headed deeper inside. I didn’t see Jasmine in the living room and the TV was off, so I doubted she had stepped away for a moment.
I made my way towards the kitchen. There was a very good chance that she was out on my back patio. The second I walked through the entry to the kitchen I felt my stomach drop, and my heart started to beat faster.
It looked like a fucking bomb went off in it. The table was covered in white powder that I had to assume was flour. There were dirty dishes all in the sink and on the stove. I had been gone for roughly five hours, and it looked like a tornado went through my kitchen. My heart was racing in my chest, and it was getting harder to get a deep breath. I knew what this feeling was. It happened all the time when I was a kid, and my parents saw that I hadn’t cleaned up properly.
Anxiety.
Everything had to be clean. Everything had to go back to its rightful place. That’s how it was supposed to be growing up. That was how my parents expected everything growing up, and if it wasn’t done right, you were punished. I don’t even know how many times I had been forced to scrub the house from top to bottom with a toothbrush, and I couldn’t go to bed until it was done. If that meant I was up all night, then so be it. It didn't matter if I was only seven. I was expected to get my punishment completed before going to bed or to school.
They had always been strict, but it was their house, their rules. I didn’t start my adult life expecting to have this need for everything to be clean and in order. I never wanted to be this person, but I found if the house wasn’t perfect, I felt like an elephant was sitting on my chest.
The one thing missing in all of this chaos was Jasmine. Where the fuck was she? She should be here cleaning this up. Was she with the boys? Was she back at her new place with Jeremy and left Christian alone? I knew there was a chance she might be terrible at being a nanny, but this was completely unacceptable. How hard of a concept was it to clean up after yourself? To clean as you cook so there wasn’t a mess left behind. And who the fuck thinks it’s okay to have flour all over a kitchen table?
I couldn’t even imagine what Christian went through. He liked everything to be in order too. He liked when the house was clean, and I had to imagine he felt so uncomfortable and upset at seeing all of this. Did they eat at the table with all of that flour on it? She was supposed to help. Not turn into the fucking anti-Christ.
At the sound of footsteps I turned to face the stairs and saw Jasmine coming down them. She gave me a big warm smile as she spoke.
“Hey, you’re back. I just got the boys down in Christian’s room. They are so sweet all curled up together.”
