Page 138 of Fighting the Pull


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My boyfriend, so sweet.

We’d had dessert up there, so our spent plates and forks were on the side table with the remains of a bottle of rosé in a marble chiller.

Glasses in hand, we were cuddled up and watching the sun set.

“Is there more to our earlier discussion I need to know?” I inquired.

“Good question,” he answered. “Is there something specific you want to know?”

Indeed there was, but I wasn’t going to ask. I hadn’t been anyone’s girlfriend since high school, but I knew not to talk about previous lovers.

He read my mind, and quietly, he said, “I’ve had women I didn’t tell about it, and enjoyed sex with them without it being an issue, not going there with deeper play. And I’ve had women I’ve told who have been down with it, enjoyed it, but not like you. Never, actually. Never like you.”

I felt a flutter in my belly.

“Never like me?”

“There are people who do it to shake up their sex lives. Then there are people who are naturally dominant, or naturally submissive, and it’s an important part of their sex lives. You’re a natural sub. It seemed obvious to me, but I worried it wasn’t obvious to you, and you weren’t plugged into that part of your nature, or I was reading it wrong because I wanted to. And I’ve learned through being with you, you can tell when you’ve met your complement. You’re not trying to please me, even if you are. You’re not using me for a new experience. We fit.”

We fit.

“You learned this by being with me?”

“Yeah. I’m not into parties, clubs or swinging. Obvious reasons, I don’t want to be recognized, but mostly, that just isn’t my thing.”

“That doesn’t sound intriguing to me either.”

He rubbed my arm where he had his hand wrapped around, using it to hold me close to him.

“Good,” he said softly. “But I told you that so you know I’ve learned by reading. Watching porn. I haven’t descended into that life, taken a partner for the sake of getting off on making someone submit to me. I’m not into hardcore. Pain or humiliation or marking or things like that. And if we get to the place you want to explore, try new things, things I haven’t done, tell me. I’ll research them. We’ll go there. But I have to share, those things I mentioned are dealbreakers for me.”

“I’m with you, they don’t sound fun.”

“Right,” he murmured. “You have any more questions about that?”

“No. Though, I want you to know, I’m sorry I laughed earlier. I wasn’t making fun of you. It’s just that your dominance, and me responding to it, has been prevalent since the start.”

“I didn’t take offense, sweetheart. I was relieved.”

“Okay. Good,” I whispered, giving him a snuggle.

“You might find hard limits too,” he went on. “It’s important you share them with me. No holding back. Okay?”

“Okay.”

“You lowkey getting off on the fact you’ve got a bare ass and exposed pussy so when I fuck you later, you’re gonna come hard for me?”

“Yes.”

His chuckle was filled with manly satisfaction.

Okay, it wasn’t lowkey how I got off onthat.

He carried on, “Just to say, it might be play when we’re home like that, me ordering no panties, but I’m also not into it leaking into life. Like me telling you what to wear or making you stop what you’re doing during the day so you can obey a command I gave you.”

I let ashoonoise out that was only half joking, and said, “That’s a relief.”

“So we’re simpatico,” he whispered.

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